[talaniman]

Library Blonde

A blonde goes into a library and says, "Hello. I'm here to see the doctor."

The librarian replies, "This is a library."

So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."





Headlines from the Year 2029

- Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia ( formerly California).

- White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

- Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

- Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

- Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq , Afghanistan , Syria and Lebanon ).

- Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

- Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

- 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

- Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

- New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

- IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

- Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.





What's Happening?

What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?"

It's raining cats and dogs.





For The Kids...

How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!

How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted!

What did the worm say to the other when he was late home?
Where in earth have you been!

When should you stop for a glow worm?
When he has a red light!

[RubyPitbull]

LOL. Loved the Headlines! :)