[Ale_mag2392]

Well let me sum it all up...

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for one year and 2 months. Everything started wonderful, but seems to have taken a 360 degree turn in the last 6 months. Why? Well his past haunts me.

Before we became a couple, I knew of him but never personally. He was in a relationship for 3 years and a half with a chick with whom he lost his virginity to and from my perspective seemed in love. He broke up with her after he found out she cheated on him.. And that was done.

This is where I come in.. I started working at the store he works in when he was breaking up with this chick. He was so sad and I was the one to help him through the process (this was in November/December). In the first week of January he flew to Portland to go visit one of his girlfriends to help him forget about everything. I thought he liked her but then he told me she lived with her boyfriend so he was only visiting as a friend.

Well he came back and we went back to our constant talk. He got another girlfriend soon after he came back which I told him " you're gonna leave her when I want to" she was just a rebound girl. He dumped her in Valentine ’s Day and we were back to our daily flirting and nice enjoyable times together. We fell in love and went out 2 months after this. It’s been amazing so far. He’s great.

His 3 year ex girlfriend was of Caucasian race.. Along with his friend from Portland. ( I'm Hispanic and was very gifted with my looks). Well when he was with me he liked "white girls" so I always tell him " you think they were prettier than me" "you like them better" " you loved your Portland friend, that’s the reason you visited her", he once let me borrow his computer and had pictures of his friend.. I know he didn't know they were there. But all this triggers me to feel more and more insecure about myself. He tells me I'm beautiful and I have nothing to worry about because I'm so much better than them.. I guess I just don't have faith in myself.

I love this guy so much and I'm afraid of losing him. He’s very honest and sweet. I just don't know how to better myself and forgive and forget.

Any thoughts? It will be highly appreciated.

I forgot to add, every single thing reminds me of him and his ex. He told me some sexual stuff he did with her which I can't take off my mind. Although I did the same and told him stuff about me but he says " its your past and I'm not going to make myself sad thinking about it, you're mine now".

[joypulv]

Many of us are insecure about looks and can get jealous, but you have to keep a lid on expressing it. Telling him that other girls are more attractive to him, or other races, is just fishing for compliments and reassurance that it isn't true. That can get tiresome really fast. Want to keep him? Force yourself to refrain from any jealousy or neediness. Instead say positive things to fill your need to know you are attractive: tell him you love it when he says he likes your hair or what you are wearing, etc.

And don't forget that men need to hear compliments too!