[anthonycasta]

Hello All... I will try to make this as short as possible...

I was with my ex girlfriend for 6 1/2 years... We lived together for 4 of them... In 2010 she decided that she was going to move back home to her mom's house to work on her selfesteem issues.. In reality she wanted to start dating other people... She then cheated on me and I wound up doing the same... Over the next year we were still together and she had an additional 5 guys that she cheated on me with...

I struggled to get past this, and was working on it... Almost 2 months ago, she told me that either she moves back into my house with me or she's moving on with her life... She gave me 5 days to decide... I explaned that she never worked out her issues that she had set out to do...

We then stopped all contact after the 5th day, until she text me almost a month later... we chatted for a bit, and she came over to spend time with out dog... We wound up going out for dinner and drinks but, did not fight... I have seen her 3 other times since then, however, we have stayed in constant contact...

Two days ago, she told me how she wants to be with me and she see's this future with me, kids and marriage... Just not right now... She told me that she didn't want me to date anyone else...

So after long text talks, we have come to this arrangement, we are going to date each other, and other people... I already know she is dating a few other guys and I am not happy about this... I have tried to cut her out of my life, only to come running back to her... I know this sounds harsh, but, this seems like the only way we can hold on to each other...

She has told me that one rule is that we don't bring anyone were dating around our friends or family...

She invited me to a birthday party this afternoon, but, I must say the thought of her and I just being friends is killing me...

HELP!

[talaniman]

Well you certainly have managed to keep her in your life, with permission to screw around all she wants as long as she is discreet, so it is what it is with her and your relationship. If you want things to change and be different, unless she is willing, then things will be this way until you either leave, or she is ready.

Don't count on it changing soon, so it comes down to how long you wait, and how long you can put up with her program. You either go along with her way, or don't. So far you have not convinced her that your way is better. So you are stuck with this casual open relationship with no commitment and her rules.

Me personally this arrangement doesn't work because I don't share with others very well. I wouldn't be a party to such lunacy, in no way or fashion. Sorry guy, but making a faithful loyal partner out of this free spirit, won't work. Has never worked. You should have accepted that and left with no hard feelings. She is who she is. You got what you got, and when you tire of it, and want better for yourself, you will seek it!

Either you are not sick and tire enough to seek better, or are a lot moree stuck than you can face. Decide which it is.