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honeybfly002 · Jun 8, 2012, 11:50 AM

I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. When I met him he was at the top of his game great job, no kids, owned his house and car and money in the bank living the american dream. That same year he got laid off from his job and he was NEVER the same. He was out of work for 2 years, his father was diagnosed with cancer, his home went into foreclosure, his car was repo'd and he fell into a depression. No sex drive (we didn't have sex the last 2 years of our relationship). I asked him to move in with me hoping he would bounce back and look for work but 2 years later he as STILL out of work. So the bills all fell on me.
In the meantime - my parents filed for divorce and now I was the one needing emotional support but we were both dealing with our issues separately and it drove a wedge between us living more like roomates than partners. I wanted to marry him but he would always say that I was worth more than a courthouse wedding and that he wanted to wait until he could be established financially.

My parents loaned him $6,000 to help clear up his credit card debt, his parents took a loan out to try to set up his own business that never happened and now his parents home is going into foreclosure. After 5 years of me working hard barely able to pay our bills and feeling financially and emotionally exhausted and not to mention NO SEX the last 2 years I called it quits and asked him to move out. He is not a cheater but his main downfall is that he is just not ambitious.

He moved out of my house, moved in with his parents shortly, then his parents started getting notices from the bank and I just found out HE GOT MARRIED and moved in HER HOUSE. I'm devastated. 5 years I gave him hoping he would better himself and less than a year after we breakup he marries someone else?? He still doesn't have a car or own his home - he moved in her home. I just don't get it. How can he move on so quickly??

C0bra_M3nace · Jun 8, 2012, 12:16 PM

Seems to me like he started moving on long before you called it quits. The fire simmered out, and the spark was gone for a while. When you called everything off he was already so detached that moving on was near nothing for him. We all move on at different paces, some can get over things quicker than others so really you never know what could have happened, that's just my take on it.

Staying posted on his life updates isn't helping you move on though, go no contact, don't talk, message or even think about him and move on with your life. No sense in lingering on the past, but focus on the present and future.

honeybfly002 · Jun 8, 2012, 12:50 PM

Thanks C0bra

I know we're not meant to be together and grew apart. The initial shock of him being married is starting to wear off. I was kind of holding the door open if he ever changed but since he's married that's all the closure I need.

Thank you for posting. A little support goes a long way...

C0bra_M3nace · Jun 8, 2012, 06:06 PM

Originally Posted by honeybfly002

Thanks C0bra

I know we're not meant to be together and grew apart. The initial shock of him being married is starting to wear off. I was kind of holding the door open if he ever changed but since he's married that's all the closure I need.

Thank you for posting. A little support goes a long way...

It's what we're here for sweetheart. You sound like a very strong and independent woman, I don't see you having any trouble finding another man. Someone who will treat you the way you deserve.

I wish you the best!