[beartest]

Hi, I have been cheated not once but twice. Yeah, it may sound like foolish on my part but the first time she cheated me, I was so broken that I turned to drugs. After taking drugs for some months she came back and I was so much vulnerable that that I took her back. It went on for some time and after few months she again cheated on me. I just don't know what to do. I feel like going in a slumber and never come out. It is not crying that I am doing, I am wailing. I want to move forward and I know she is a cheater but I can't take away my thoughts from her.

Somebody please tell me what to do. I don't want to go back to drugs because drugs put me to sleep and there is not ore that I think about then.
I want to face it and I want to move on. The urge to call her I can't resist. What should I do? I have to take myself out of this misery. I don't want to ruin my life again just because someone I love doesn’t loves me back.

Somebody please tell me what to do.

[w4rr1or]

Hello man,

I don't usually reply to posts but I have the need to help you.

I understand what you are going through and how hard it is. I am going through a similar phase in my life right now and there are so many unanswered questions you want to find out and so many thoughts in your head but the best thing you can do my friend , is go out. Even force yourself if you have to. There are many times I was forced to go out when I was depressed beyond recognition and it really helps at the end of the day. There is going to be a point where you will start thinking about her less and less and its going to be better day by day. Try to turn the feelings of pain into feelings of anger and it will help you feel better. I know it sounds bad but it's something I learnt from some books and it really helps.

I hope I helped a bit,
You can make it.

[beartest]

Yeah buddy.
I don't even know what to do with my life right now.
I don't want to go to drugs.
They are easier way out, but I don't want to ruin my life anymore for some one who hasn't even thought twice before cheating me.
At this time I begin to wonder that is it bad to be faithful?
I have seen my friends having sexual relationships with multiple girls and I always told myself that goodness pays back and being faithful is somehting I was proud of myself.
Sometims I even think of going to prostitutes to end it once for all.
Maye having sex with prostitutes will make me think I will have evenge but revenge from whom I don't know.
I might be hurting myself in long run.

I don't want love again in my life.
I wish to hurt myself more and more. I try my best to not to think about her but when I tell myself that I will not think about her, I still think about her.

Somebody please help me out. I have faced bigger problems in my life, but I want help this time because earlier it was my life only. This time I connected my life with some one else and she has left me shattered. Not once but twice.
I can't even cry with my friends. Boys are supposed to be strong.
I don't know what I am writing right now.
when I see my face in mirror, I think of myself as some looser now.

[talaniman]

Seldom can any of us face hardships alone, and I think you reach out, as you are doing here to a trusted responsible family member, or friend, and tell them what you need. Support through a difficult time. Even a family doctor or religious leader can give you that shoulder, or encouragement you need to overcome. All of the above if you need it.

Do good things for yourself, and don't see that loser in the mirror, see the guy with much to give, and know that like drugs, you made a mistake and was good to someone that didn't deserve it. They are the loser in this not you because they have lost love while you still have it. Instead of giving it to a loser like her, give it back to yourself, and find a true friend to share it with.

You beat drugs, you can beat this hard time in your life. Now get that friend, or family member to help you get to the next day and heal from this temporary wound.

You can do this, just reach out. It will get better, I guarantee it!

[beartest]

And I also have an exam in September.
I am just notin a position to study.
I know it is me who has to get over with it and I will.
Gosh, maybe some magic happens and my mempry wipes out her.

I don't want to be angry on God.
I don't
I like your signature.
Mine was the exact opposite of Having a relationship should be a bonus to your life and should not be the only reason to be happy.
It was the only reason of me being happy as I had to disconnect with most of my friends cz of her.
Sometimes I felt she manipulated me but being with her gave me so muc joy that I just closed my eyes to it.

[beartest]

How do get over with it.
I am feeling so weak in legs and stomach.
I can'tt ake it anymore.
I have to hear her voice.
I want to hear her say she loves me
Why in the world it happened to me
Is there no God?
I feel like killing myself

[talaniman]

Relax guy, this has happened to open your eyes and mind and an opportunity to chart a better path than you were on. I understand the emotions/feelings can be overwhelming, been there, done that, many times.

Maybe now you can reconnect with those you left, and find they had prayed you would some day wake up. You have haven't you? Hell you have already made a few cyber friends you didn't have before. Isn't that a signal to keep trying?

[beartest]

Its so strange how it works
She cheats me and goes
And it is me who is begging her to get her back in my life
Someday I will get over with it
But there is long time between someday and now
I appreciate the time you people take to respond to me
I need to be strong
Hell but I am wailing right now
And that is the reason
I don't know
I have to get over with it
I have to
I will
One day I will see myself in mirror and will not be afraid of
I am afraid of everything
Even two birds sitting together hurt me

[talaniman]

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get off your a$$, off the computer, and go for a run, swim, jog, anything to make you work hard and sweat. Vent and channel that negative energy into useful work. Go plant a tree, help a neighbor. Paint the house. Anything but sitting isolated feeling sorry for yourself.

Bet if you tried you could stop thinking of her, and think of things to do. Build a bird house for those two birds you cry so much over. And a bird bath, Got a junkie attic, or garage? Clean it to perfection.

You mean to tell me you can't look around and see things that need doing?

[beartest]

Are you sure that if I direct myself to something else, I will get over with it?
I will do anything to get over with it.

I will do exaclty what you say
I will

I will do
U know, heart pains a lot
Screaming all the time I am
I sleep cz I get titired f crying

I can build pretty good websites
I am awesome in it
I can get myself ranked on forst page of Google for any keyword
I race with bikes
I go to gym
And suddenly, I feeel world stopped
Like mrs. havisham of great expectations
But I will get out of it
So next time she even sees me, she will be sorry fr herself
I will not feel sorry for myself

[C0bra_M3nace]

Yes, he is telling you that, and you know what. It's the truth, every single word. Keep active and stop sitting around thinking about it. Eventually, your heart will move on and those feelings will vanish. Hell, you might even find someone you love even more, it may suck to think about that now but give it time.

Time is your friend, and he will help you heal, but help him heal you and get your mind off her and stay busy. Keep up what your doing, and eventually you will move on.

[talaniman]

And keep us posted, we care, and want you to be happy, and succeed.

[beartest]

OK.
I downloaded some sleep music and I slept listening to it.
I woke up and I have been not feeling so depresseed this time.
In a week , I have told myself to hold myself together.
I talked to my friends too.
Same person cheating twice, it is like I started to hate myself.
When I called her, she told me what do you want from me.
I was devastated to hear it.
I kept calling her, just to hear that she loves me and everything will be allrite like before.
But I know it won't happen ever.
It is hard to accept this fact that no more of her in my life now.

[beartest]

I opened up my heart again and told her how much I love her.
Its her smiles and eyes I can't unthink of.

I also told her that I am going from her life if she dusnt wants me in it.
And I told her that you should call me beofre tonight if uwant me to be in your life.
I know it is fooling myself.
But at least I can spend one more day in the hope of getting her love.
Cz living without her love is something I can't think of
I could have killed myself instead.
I know she will not rely.
Maybe I will send sm mg tmrw that today is last day and you tell me .
Day by day he craved for her.
Ha ha ha
Why doesn't someone shoots me in my head and heart,
Both pain

[talaniman]

No one has to shoot you in the head or heart, you are doing it yourself. Stay away from her, leave her alone. Its foolish to keep going back to a person who has hurt you and expect love. Its illogical and harmful.

Like putting your hand on a hot stove and thinking pleasure will come of it. What would you tell a person who does this??

"You damn fool, keep your hands off a hot stove!!!" Now get back to the plan and stop this foolishness!!

[beartest]

There is always a feeling that everything could be perfect.
Will try meditation.
Have started spending one more hour in gym.
Its like weak body can be trained and made better ion gym
In the same way mind can also be trained and made strong.
Once I am able to control my thoughts about her, It will be a big relief.
Will do meditation daily now.
Someday I will improve.
Better do it than not trying it.
I will improve one day. Have control onmy mind and get out of this depression.
Its like I still think that if she will see me one day, I will get devastated just by seeing her.
I don't want that to happen.
I will control myself.
Do meditatin.
Would do it everyday now.
I did it for 8 minutes tday.
Felt good.
I will keep my hands off that hot stove

I am browsing all our pics and cried today.

[talaniman]

Gather them up and put them away, or better yet burn them to end this chapter of your life.

[beartest]

I don't have that courage to burn them
I don't have the courage to burn them

Not now

[talaniman]

Store them away, far away, and don't dig them out for a walk down memory lane an pity pot session.

[Red thorn]

God Yaar?
It is like the exact situation that I went through. Though not on drugs or any bad habbits but it felt like I was being made hollow from inside. Eventually I lost most of my emotions to the phase. I called myself the "devil queen " it made me feel better.

The most important part -most of us in this situation are crying for no fault of ours. I know how it feels to care for someone , love someone, know that you are there and getting not the same but a fair part of the feelings.

It is not bad to love someone , You can love that girl in your mind till you are ready to move on, but you see through it that you continue to socialize. At this point of time it is a bad idea to confront her and tell her your feeling cause she won't understand ( for the fact she did not understand you to begin with ). Hoping that she will come back will make you think over it again and again.So just start with calming down yourself and being friendlier with your thoughts.

Time heals all the wounds as they say- it works may be in months , years or decades. You may even not remember her name. Don't try to shut down your thought , let them come , talk to a mirror, a friend or anyone close.

Ya I know those who have gone through a thing like this can understand. Its like the hell breaks loose on you , you suddenly realize that breathing is a problem , you may even get panic attacks ( like your hear beats faster or something ), but things are suppose to get better after a dark night, day will always come , a bright one now.