[Rhia1978]

He dumped me a month back after 4 months of dating.He’d asked for time & space to sort his head out.After a week of no contact he emailed.We exchanged a few emails.The next night I rang him–spoke max for 6 minutes.He was drunk & mumbled something about being heartbroken.Next day I apologised for calling him–we exchanged a few texts & then he sent me flirty texts for which he apologised later.I didn’t encourage it at all.Next day he emailed me to apologise again. I assured him I didn’t take it to heart.I asked him if he’d picked up over the weekend and he said ‘we aren’t getting into this are we?But no!’.I told him I was joking & asked him casually for a quick dinner.He said he was cashstrapped & had ridden into work.I said ‘no problems’.

A further 10 days of no contact later,I emailed him-it was purely friendly banter but he soon diverted it towards more intimate conversation.I avoided it.He asked me out for a drink but I couldn't make it.

Next day I was worried-I'd seen a cyclist skidding & nearly getting run over-it was very rainy.Having lost a friend that way I contacted him to find out if he was fine.He coldly told me a while later that he was fine.I was angry that he had kept me waiting & worried.I expressed my displeasure but was measured.

A day later he emailed me.I didn't respond.I've always in the past responded-so this was the first time I'd given him the cold shoulder.6 days later he emailed me & asked me out for a drink.I again couldn't make it.That night I texted him by mistake-was meant for my friend–‘hey babe will be home soon’.The following morning when I realised I texted him–‘wrong text,wrong person.Sorry’.It was 8am on a Sat morning–he’s a late riser so I was surprised when he answered ‘no problems.had realised it wasn’t for me’.I texted back ‘you are awake early.Sorry I couldn’t make it y’day.Hope you had a good one’.Then he says that the only reason he wanted to meet was to tell me he's 'sort of started seeing someone'.I was hurt & angry.I told him he has the license to date anyone he wants to & that he shouldn't contact me till he knows what exactly he wants from me.I called him a serial dater (he’d been in 1/2/3 month relationships for the past 3 years) & said he can keep doing it for the rest of his life.He flew off the handle–‘don’t know what the hell you are talking about. Hence,we didn’t work out.Take care!’.I didn't respond.

We have no mutual friends,aren't on each others Facebook & our paths won't cross.So why tell me this?It's none of my business.And what's this 'sort of'?Why is he so angry?I hadn’t responded to his last email for 6 days-letting him go & starting my recovery-why not leave it & move on with this new girl?I've refused in the past to remain friends with him & explained one of the reasons is I don't want to find out he's dating someone.

Why would a man behave like this?Thanks in advance & sorry for the long post!

[Homegirl 50]

Both of you keep going back and forth with the contact and he seems really rude.
Maybe he just wants sex which explains why his conversations try to lean that way.
Stop contacting him and don't respond when he contacts you. He'll soon get the message.
Remove his number from your phone and their will be no more mistakes.

[Rhia1978]

Both of you keep going back and forth with the contact and he seems really rude.
Maybe he just wants sex which explains why his conversations try to lean that way.
Stop contacting him and don't respond when he contacts you. He'll soon get the message.
remove his number from your phone and their will be no more mistakes.

Thanks homegirl. I had let him go - not responded for 7 days after we broke up - he emailed me. Then recently I was the one who went silent after his coldness about the cyclist conversation. Why keep emailing me when am not responding? I have not pestered him if he's ever not responded - which he has never done - he's always responded. So when am not answering - why then try to meet to tell me he's 'sort of' seeing someone? How is it any of my business? I just want some light shed on this. My friends strongly believe he's being childish, hates me because he's attracted to me but am not begging'n'

[Homegirl 50]

Could be he's just trying to make you jealous, make you beg for him to come back. But whatever the reason, he sounds like a creep. Ignore him, he'll soon get the message. Don't even ask anybody about him. That will get back to him and he'll figure you still want him.

[Rhia1978]

Both of you keep going back and forth with the contact and he seems really rude.
Maybe he just wants sex which explains why his conversations try to lean that way.
Stop contacting him and don't respond when he contacts you. He'll soon get the message.
remove his number from your phone and their will be no more mistakes.

Thanks homegirl. I had let him go - not responded for 7 days after we broke up - he emailed me. Then recently I was the one who went silent after his coldness about the cyclist conversation. Why keep emailing me when am not responding? I have not pestered him if he's ever not responded - which he has never done - he's always responded. So when am not answering - why then try to meet to tell me he's 'sort of' seeing someone? How is it any of my business? I just want some light shed on this. My friends strongly believe he's being childish, hates me because he's attracted to me but am not begging'n'pleading. They also think he's being self destructive. When there's no way I would have found out - and he's not a 'meet & discuss' kind of person - why tell me that's why he wanted to meet me? I love him - simple - and he's told me his 'heart dropped' when he first saw me - he's said he loves me but both the times he was drunk so am not putting much significance there. He's discussed family, kids & retirement with me. He told me he was fighting his feelings for me in the first 3 months because he was scared. He said the only reason he's waited this long is so he doesn't have a divorce - I pointed out life is a gamble. When I asked him why he keeps picking on me to fight he said he's angry with me, himself & life. He's told me am perfect & that he's the luckiest man in the world to have a catch like me. I don't believe this is something to discard & move on. I believe in us - that's why am bothering to ask. Why is he behaving like this? I am thinking of sending one last email for closure & let him know that he's hurt me with this unnecessary info. I don't want any misunderstandings - don't want to regret anything :(

[Homegirl 50]

Ask him, then hopefully he will be honest and you'll know.

[Rhia1978]

Ask him, then hopefully he will be honest and you'll know.

Just wondering if it's the right time to ask since he's obviously angry at something - or me - god knows for what reason though! And my email will be basically telling him that he's hurt me with his anger & resentment towards me & that I thought it was unnecessary to tell me about his personal life. Not asking why he's done what he's done - telling him how I feel.

[Homegirl 50]

Just tell him what you think, how you feel. What do you have to lose

At least it will be off your chest and no should haves.

[Rhia1978]

Just tell him what you think, how you feel. What do you have to lose

At least it will be off your chest and no should haves.

Nothing to lose really. But am afraid that he might think am guilt tripping him - or acting as the victim. Also if he hasn't calmed down yet - my words might fall on deaf ears?

[Rhia1978]

Just tell him what you think, how you feel. What do you have to lose

At least it will be off your chest and no should haves.

Also what if he is indeed playing mind games - I don't want to give him the pleasure of seeing me react (I already have reacted though)

[Homegirl 50]

There are a lot of variables here. You can either talk to him or leave him alone. Get things off your chest and be done with it. It's up to you.

[PuNkLoVe15]

He dumped me a month back after 4 months of dating.He’d asked for time & space to sort his head out.After a week of no contact he emailed.We exchanged a few emails.The next night I rang him–spoke max for 6 mins.He was drunk & mumbled something about being heartbroken.Next day I apologised for calling him–we exchanged a few texts & then he sent me flirty texts for which he apologised later.I didn’t encourage it at all.Next day he emailed me to apologise again. I assured him I didn’t take it to heart.I asked him if he’d picked up over the weekend and he said ‘we aren’t getting into this are we?But no!’.I told him I was joking & asked him casually for a quick dinner.He said he was cashstrapped & had ridden into work.I said ‘no problems’.

A further 10 days of no contact later,I emailed him-it was purely friendly banter but he soon diverted it towards more intimate conversation.I avoided it.He asked me out for a drink but I couldn't make it.

Next day I was worried-I'd seen a cyclist skidding & nearly getting run over-it was very rainy.Having lost a friend that way I contacted him to find out if he was fine.He coldly told me a while later that he was fine.I was angry that he had kept me waiting & worried.I expressed my displeasure but was measured.

A day later he emailed me.I didn't respond.I've always in the past responded-so this was the first time I'd given him the cold shoulder.6 days later he emailed me & asked me out for a drink.I again couldn't make it.That night I texted him by mistake-was meant for my friend–‘hey babe will be home soon’.The following morning when I realised I texted him–‘wrong text,wrong person.Sorry’.It was 8am on a Sat morning–he’s a late riser so I was surprised when he answered ‘no problems.had realised it wasn’t for me’.I texted back ‘you are awake early.Sorry I couldn’t make it y’day.Hope you had a good one’.Then he says that the only reason he wanted to meet was to tell me he's 'sort of started seeing someone'.I was hurt & angry.I told him he has the license to date anyone he wants to & that he shouldn't contact me till he knows what exactly he wants from me.I called him a serial dater (he’d been in 1/2/3 month relationships for the past 3 years) & said he can keep doing it for the rest of his life.He flew off the handle–‘don’t know what the hell you are talking about. Hence,we didn’t work out.Take care!’.I didn't respond.

We have no mutual friends,aren't on each others Facebook & our paths won't cross.So why tell me this?It's none of my business.And what's this 'sort of'?Why is he so angry?I hadn’t responded to his last email for 6 days-letting him go & starting my recovery-why not leave it & move on with this new girl?I've refused in the past to remain friends with him & explained one of the reasons is I don't want to find out he's dating someone.

Why would a man behave like this?Thanx in advance & sorry for the long post!

DROP HIM AND KEEP IT MOVING! He is try'n 2 make you a booty call then when u say no he mad that get a real man

[Rhia1978]

Update folks - he's just sent me a friendship request on Facebook - hmmm - very odd! I haven't accepted it but will tomorrow. He can see how well am doing. Any communication from now will have to be initiated by him!