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tonya14 · Jun 3, 2012, 01:10 PM

I have a boyfriend who is 23 and I'm 14 we have been together for at least five months we have never had intercorse or thought about it he is like my big brother he is very protective of me and says I'm his little baby he has never been disrespectful to me or my parents we talk everday and my mom says she is OK once we Don't have sex is this OK??

Curlyben · Jun 3, 2012, 01:27 PM

What possible connection an ADULT has with a MINOR child is anyone's guess.
While there aren't laws covering dating, anything else and he will be in DEEP legal trouble.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 3, 2012, 01:35 PM

Of course he is thinking about sex, unless he is very undeveloped with a mentality of a child.
I would say he is a pedophile who is grooming you for what he wants.

I would also say that your mom if she allows this is a terrible mother and should be reported to CPS where perhaps you will be taken from the home and put into foster care for your own protection.

I would also say that a 23 year old needs professional help for having interest in a child.

I hope it is reported and perhaps CPS can investigate, also perhaps the father will step in and use this against the mother in family court.

ScottGem · Jun 3, 2012, 01:35 PM

No its not OK.and I don't believe your parents agree to this. A 23 yr old man has no business being in a relationship with a 14 yr old child.

I notice you said you never had "intercourse". That's an odd way of putting it. It indicates you may be doing other sexual things and that would be illegal.

You also say you talk everyday, what else do you do?

tonya14 · Jun 3, 2012, 01:54 PM

OK well I don't think the second response was needed or called for it was just harsh.
What I mean is that we have never done anything sexual we speak on the phone almost everyday not once was sex brought up in any conversations we talk on the phone cause we live at least 10 milse apart.
I could think its perfect when it is absolutely not but this is why I asked and I was not asking for any negative or hateful comments

ScottGem · Jun 3, 2012, 02:01 PM

So you have never actually been on a date with him? All you do is talk on the phone? Most 23 year olds have a drivers license, 10 miles would not be so far.

Frankly, I think most of this is in your imagination. But the fact remains that any 23 yr old knows better then to become romantically involved with a 14 yr old. The term jail bait was coined for children like you.

Again, any parent that allows a relationship between 14 and 23 needs to have their head examined or have the child removed from their care.

If you are telling the truth (which I doubt), I can see maybe allowing you to talk on the phone and nothing more in the hopes that this fades. But the bottom line is such a relationship is NOT OK

Fr_Chuck · Jun 3, 2012, 02:07 PM

No it is not hateful, in fact unless we cared we would not have taken our time to answer.

You are being used, we feel sorry for you, esp since your mother is not protecting you like she is suppose to.

And 10 miles is nothing to a 23 year old, they get in their car and are there in 15 min. If you were 1000 miles apart, then it would be an internet thing.

You wanted the legal side of it,

1. Any sex, even if he touches your breast area though your clothes can be illegal.
2. You mom can do many other things if she wants.
3. Children and Family Services ( or their counter part where you live) if reported can come in for a investigation if this is reported to them by anyone, other family, neighbors, jealous ex boy or girl friends. Or even well meaning neighbors. *** If I saw this happening locally I would be on the phone to CPS within minutes.
Also if other parents know about it, they can report it.
4. your father can use this as legal grounds to try and gain custody of you ( assuming you don't live together.)

This is the legal answer to this, sorry you don't want to hear the truth, But this is what happens, when the older man learns to brain wash the young kids.

joypulv · Jun 3, 2012, 02:10 PM

You said 'we have been together.' Then you said you just talk on the phone. Which is it?

We don't know if it's exaggerated in your mind, if he's grooming you, if he's gay and lonely, if he's just a nice but lonely guy, or if he's unstable, or what - the simple truth is that it isn't typical for a 23 year old MAN to be doing this. There's a reason he isn't with people his own age, and we aren't there nor listening to him, so naturally we worry about YOU.

tonya14 · Jun 3, 2012, 02:24 PM

OK well I understand and accept your answers well chuck I take your answer better now that you hve explained it, I've seen him about 3 times and its not exaggerated in my mind. I know him through my cousin and from what I know he doesn't go anywhere like parties and stuff like that the only places I KNOW he goes is to work now I don't know if that's how he is or if he is socially affected or something I'm being secrious not taking his side or anything like that I'm just saying what I know from him telling me and what I think

tonya14 · Jun 3, 2012, 02:31 PM

By the way he is a very quiet and soft spoken person

ScottGem · Jun 3, 2012, 04:20 PM

Originally Posted by tonya14

btw he is a very quiet and soft spoken person

Actually that is very typical of pedophiles. Or it just may be that there are some social issues with him. In any case, whether he is well meaning and just stupid or a predator, his having a relationship with you is WRONG. In 4 years when you are an adult and you feel you want to take up with him, then go ahead. For now you need to back off be with people your own age. And if he were concerned about you, he would tell you the same thing.