[rose7346]

This is the first time I've sought advice on my situation... any input would be appreciated.

I'm 23, and have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. He was the first guy I had ever dated, and we moved in together after dating for 2 years. For the past year or so I've been feeling restless in the relationship; like something is missing. I've talked to him about it, and we came close to breaking up last Fall, but we decided to try again.

Neither of us have upheld our ends of the bargain; I was supposed to try to better manage my stress and anxiety so as not to let it affect our relationship (this has been an issue throughout university- he has become like a crutch and I know I put too much on his shoulders). He was supposed to be more romantic and make me feel wanted again. Our relationship now mostly consists of bickering and watching television, and I find myself less and less attracted to him.

The scales were tipped even further last week... I am utterly ashamed to say that I had a brief fling with one of our guy friends. I had never thought of him in that way and have no intentions of continuing, but it has really made me realise that something has to be done.

Writing all of that makes it seem obvious that our second attempt at our relationship didn't work. I know I am to blame, but I can't help but wonder whether things could still work if I could somehow rekindle the spark with him again. I've invested so many years into this, and he is a great man and a true friend, and I can't picture my life without him.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I should tell him and try to fix the relationship (and I don't know how to go about trying to fix it), or if I should simply tell him it's not working anymore. My entire life away from home has been built with him and I am terrified to be on my own.

[talaniman]

If you cannot fix this (or attempt), by being honest. There can be NO fix! Not one that works for very long any way.