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    warfare3's Avatar
    warfare3 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 1, 2012, 08:46 PM
    5.5 years w/ 2 kids gone.
    So my just now ex girlfriend told me she doesn't love me anymore. I admit I have taken much of our relationship for granted, we have 2 beautiful children together a 4 year old girl and a 1.5 year old boy. She has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has not taken her medication in over a year I believe saying she doesn't need them. Her parents who were married for 30 years got a divorce about a year ago and her father just got married again this week so she and our daughter are out of state for the week. This has been the most emotional week I have ever had and pleaded with her for a chance to try my hardest to fix the relationship. She called me tonight and told me that she could not give me another chance and that I needed to move my stuff out if our apartment by the time they came home in 4 days. We are both full time college students and work part time jobs. We live together with our 2 children in an apartment that her father owns with no rent. I just pay the utilities and she pays the internet bill. Honestly besides doing what is right for my children and seeing them as often as I can I do not know what to do, I was thinking about doing the NC thing but our children make that almost impossible. I pleaded with her to let me try my hardest but she said she doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want the relationship. Any thoughts?
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #2

    Jun 2, 2012, 03:48 AM
    No contact is very hard in a situation like this. Seeing her for 5 minutes here and there to get your kids can be hard. You've got to work twice as hard to move on, and forget. Do it for the kids, and when you pick them up, do as little contact with her as possible and pay attention to the kids, and remember, you're there for the kids.

    I wish you the best of luck.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jun 2, 2012, 08:16 AM
    I feel for you guy, but from this point on, stop begging, or asking for chances and turn your focus for what are the best adjustments to make for your family, given the situation, her attitude, and her wishes. Its important to keep your dignity, and self respect through this difficult time as you may not be a live together family, but you are still parents, for YEARS to come.

    Your feelings are hurt, but focus on handling your business, and doing what's right for your kids. I highly suggest you get court ordered visitations, and child support arrangement in place to cover your obligations for the future, whether she is of a mind to or not. You cannot imagine the future misery you avoid by this simple mind set, and your kids have stability.

    Cry later, handle your business now, as things will work out with time, and some work. And acceptance that changes have to be made. I know its hard on a guy with two kids, and only a part time job, but have hope it will get better if you work at it, one day at a time.

    Do you have an older male to talk to who is both sensible and experienced? That would help you greatly to be guided to doing the right things for yourself. And your family.

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