[A1M33]

My boyfriend of 4 months constantly brings up his ex. Sometimes, he might just drop her name into the conversation, othe times, she will be the actual subject of conversation. She was his first serious sexual relationship & it lasted 2 years. It wasn't the most normal of relationships, however. For starters, she was twice his age. They started as just Fk Buddies, but it progressed to something more serious a year later. He fell for her hard, until all of a sudden she broke up with him via text, with no explanation whatsoever. He told me about her on our very first date, but it didn't deter me in any way. Little did I know just how much he would mention her every time we hung out. He does tend to tell me a lot about his past (his friends, his high school & college days, his nights as a DJ, etc), so I am just hoping that he is only talking about her because she was a HUGE part of his past. A few things that really bother me (apart from the obvious fact that he talks about her) is that he often tells me all the sordid stuff they did together (he has now begun to realise that maybe it's not the best thing to tell me, yet he still does... sometimes, at the most inappropriate moments). He also has informed me that he has kept a box filled with gifts that she gave him over the years they were together (mainly cards, jewellry, etc). Now he is bit of a hoarder, keeping ANYTHING & EVERYTHING from the past 29 years, so I'm hoping that this box is just because he wants to keep something from that part of his life (regardless of it being good or bad). I'm a virgin, which I have already told him & he knows to take things slow with me... he doesn't want to rush into anything the way he did with her. He thinks the sex ruined their relationship. Our relationship is a whole lot normal to what theirs was... which he likes. He's introduced me to the most important people in his life (his family & friends). We enjoy going places (I've recently learnt NOT to go to places where he's already been with her), I've been invited to family get togethers & spend HOURS upon HOURS at his place on the weekends (we live 30 minutes apart & still live with our parents). We go to parties. All these things he wasn't able to do with his ex girlfriend, because she wanted to keep their relationship a secret. He always knew that their relationship would never last... whereas he can actually see a future with us (we've even started a bucket list just for fun & already ticked a few things off!) He has told me that he wasn't really looking for a girlfriend when I came along. So it took us both by surprise when we got together. And he says that he is well & truly over her, but sometimes it does make me wonder if he really is. He is my first serious boyfriend & I am completely & utterly in love with him... the first time I've EVER felt this way about a guy. He treats me like an absolute princess... kisses, hugs, lots of hand holding in public (& most importantly, he tells me he loves me every day). I'm just not used to all this confusion & uncomfyness whenever he talks about his ex.

[C0bra_M3nace]

He sounds like he's not over her, and in turn, not ready for another relationship. Tell him how you feel, and that he needs to work with his past and get over it before you two can have a healthy relationship.