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mrRunnells · May 27, 2012, 06:35 AM

My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 yrs. At first we used to have fun but here lately we do hardly anything. She has a physical job in which she gets up early, and in time when she gets home she goes to bed early. I like to stay up and during the week I don't fuss but on the weekend I like to chill and have a good time. Now when she gets around her family she acts totally different she's all smiley and alive not boring and she works with them so its not like she doesn't see them.

Well its gotten to the point where I don't want to be with her but I love her dearly. What do I do?

tessa0987 · May 27, 2012, 03:53 PM

All you can do is talk to her about it . You can't get no where if your not talking about this . Have a " date night " were its just you two , an do it often like once a week . Do things that she would never expect to happen . Like things you haven't done yet . Do cute little cute kory sayings (: girls love that .hope I helped a little (:

mrRunnells · May 28, 2012, 07:58 AM

Thanks and yesterday we had one of our little arguments about it as usual. Then we went loafing and was really sweet to each other. Last night wr even played a few games if pool. Here's the thing though she will feel bad and fix the prob for the day and by a few days later back to the same thing. I'm really getting tired of it but breaking up is my last optioin cause I really love her! However I think I will watch for a week if it goes back to the same I don't know...

Homegirl 50 · May 28, 2012, 11:59 AM

How old are the two of you. Maybe you have just lost it long the way.
Staying in a relationship where there is boredom and arguments is no fun.
Maybe it is time to end it, especially if this has been an ongoing problem

CoruptedAngel · May 28, 2012, 12:19 PM

Sounds like you done made your mind up about leaving her. So just do it. Like homegirl said Maybe you two just lost it along the way. It does happen.

mrRunnells · May 28, 2012, 06:48 PM

I'm 31 she's 24 and I don't want to give up on her that's the problem now days. People are so quick to quit. There are a lot of positive things in our relationship... I just want to try and enjoy life to the fullest.

Homegirl 50 · May 28, 2012, 07:29 PM

You say you love her but you don't want to be with her. Why would you want to stay with someone you don't want to be with. Sooner or later she is going to feel that too. Maybe she loves you but doesn't want to be with you either.
You both are adults, been together 4 years, why are you not married? Maybe that's her problem too.

CoruptedAngel · May 28, 2012, 08:04 PM

I don't want to give up on her that's the problem now days. People are so quick to quit.

But you said You don't want to be with her...

mrRunnells · May 29, 2012, 04:59 AM

Never did any of my answers say I do not want to be with her. I stated if she didn't change than I don't know... we are engaged...

C0bra_M3nace · May 29, 2012, 05:40 AM

Originally Posted by mrRunnells

never did any of my answers say I do not want to be with her. I stated if she didn't change than I don't know... we are engaged...

Originally Posted by mrRunnells

Well its gotten to the point where I don't wanna be with her but I love her dearly.... what do I do?

You did say you don't want to be with her. Sounds like you need to sit down and really think about what you want.

Homegirl 50 · May 29, 2012, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by mrRunnells

Well its gotten to the point where I don't wanna be with her but I love her dearly.... what do I do?

This is what you wrote

talaniman · May 30, 2012, 10:27 PM

This will be harsh

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...se-665117.html

When you love someone, and they work hard, you don't get all needy with them and want to break up. If its thrills and excitement you crave, get some friends and have that good clean adult fun.

Now rub her feet and have a nice meal ready when she gets home. Just drop this immature need for attention when you are grown enough to entertain yourself. Hell boy, why haven't you arranged a nice date for your hard working woman on her off day?

If I sound peeved at your selfish attitude, its because I hate when a spoiled guy only thinks of himself, and b1tches about it to a hard working female, while he takes her for granted. Yes that's you buddy, and you really need to grow up because when people are bored, it's there own fault.

mrRunnells · May 31, 2012, 05:50 AM

Yes that's you buddy, and you really need to grow up because when people are bored, it's there own fault.

I do understand all your saying and have taken some in to consideration. However she wants me to come to bed with her, in which sometimes I do. And she doesn't like for me to go do things without her. If I didn't know it would cause a spat I would be going out hanging with my friends when she goes to bed.

talaniman · May 31, 2012, 07:08 AM

Thank you for providing more information, it makes a difference to the advice you get. My apologies for my harsh tone to you.

I find that honesty in communications can lead to some meaning full compromise which surprises me you have not reached it in your 4 years together. I think a day or two doing things without each other may be a start, as we all need some space to renew and recharge ourselves with others in a good clean adult fashion.

You just tell her how important boys night out is, or how you will have to stay up later than she does sometimes. That doesn't have to be every night, but enough to give you breathing space. You can sweeten the pot with a hot bath waiting and candles and meal, and just keep her company as she falls into slumber, then play on your computer or TV, whatever.

Talking, and compromise is what healthy couples do. Your approach is from love and care, even during spats or disagreements. Patience is truly a virtue, and the most important tool we have as it may take a while of talking for change to occur, and it may be weeks, and months even years, with all kind of glitches in between. Friends help you both, but never let another female distract or tempt you. Now that's utter BS.

BOUNDARIES of good personal behavior is always upfront and center, and if friends both male and female are not mutual friends, then they are associates, or acquaintances, NOT go to emotional tampons for hard difficult times.

Sometimes its down right frustrating, and discouraging. Such is the way of life, you just suffer through sometimes. Makes great times sweeter.

Good luck.

mrRunnells · May 31, 2012, 12:48 PM

Thank you and I'm going to talk to her and as far as night out with the guys I don't really have any friends anymote. Well a few but none really wants to hang out because we are joined at the hip. Same with her she doesn't really talk or hang with anyone either and now its like what do I do now?

Homegirl 50 · May 31, 2012, 12:50 PM

Get a life apart from each other. Communicate. Let her know you need space and so does she.

mrRunnells · May 31, 2012, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Get a life apart from each other. Communicate. Let her know you need space and so does she.

Thanks for everyone's responses

mmresd · May 31, 2012, 02:37 PM

If you don't feel happy in the way things are now, then end things. No point in continuing to do something you no longer enjoy.