[jbnj922]

This is my situation: I have been with my common-law husband for almost 11 years. I am 36 and he is going to be 53. I am well aware that the sex drive wanes as you get older but he hasn't touched me, nor tried to touch me, in almost 6 years. In that time, I have lost a considerable amount of weight, changed my appearance, and have had a few opportunities to cheat but I have remained faithful. Meanwhile, he looks at dirty pics online, sometimes watches porn, and masterbates. In fact, just after I went to bed, he masterbated. And he had to have been aware that I was not yet asleep. I work but I keep a nice house for him. I don't nag him, I give him space if he wants it, I have my own friends. What else am I supposed to think but that there's something wrong with me? Obviously he still has some sort of sex drive but equally obviously, he doesn't seem to want me. I've talked to him about this and he always makes half-assed promises that never come about. This is breaking my heart and I feel like crap.

[C0bra_M3nace]

This whole post I was thinking to myself, communication is key. The last line threw me for a loop and I really had to think about this one. Now, when you talk to him, what are you asking of him? You've got to talk to him and find out what the problem is, not try to fix it right away. The problem needs to be addressed first; it could be a number of things, he could have lost the desire for sex, he could be unnactracted to you (no disrespect, but it is an option), maybe he feels his sex life is boring (again, communication is key). It's most definitely not low sex drive because he still has the ability to masturbate and watch porn which gets me leaning towards, maybe he wants to try something new.

These are all guesses, as I don't know your husband. I said it twice and I'll say it again, communication is key. All you can do is talk about it. All else fails, you should consider getting up and leaving, it's not right to be stuck in a bad relationship, especially if you feel undesired and unwanted. There's plenty of guys out there who will want and need you, but first things first deal with what's on the table today, before you start fantasizing about what's going to be there tomorrow.