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Marilu87 · May 23, 2012, 07:50 PM

I never thought I'd be so heart broken and never thought it would take this long. I've done everything on my own, helped myself so many times, never fell for any guy, but this time it was different. This time it was the guy I never thought would do this to me, my best friend and ex-lover. I feel like I can't do it anymore. I was in love with my high-school “sweetheart”, broke up with him right after high school (2005) to move out and live an independent life.

We remained friends, we both did our own thing. In 2010 he declared his love for me once again, the whole time I thought I had left something so good behind, feelings came back really strong and decided to make things right once and for all. In 2011 we saw each other and had the best time of our lives, it felt almost magical.

A month after being reunited, I find out that he had been in a relationship for three years and that the girl was bearing his child. I have never felt so humiliated and foolish. He sent me a text message on my birthday (that same year) telling me his true feelings while I'm trying to forget, I was still stupid enough to respond.

Its been six months since I've last heard from him and everything. I thought I would be stronger. Someone tell me what happens after, I feel like there's no one I can reach and talk to. Why did this happen? I was doing fine without him, why did he have to bring old feelings back when he had someone else already? And why was I even more stupid to fall for all that?

C0bra_M3nace · May 25, 2012, 06:53 AM

If the pilot light is still there, it's very easy to be re-lit. Don't feel ashamed that you fell for him again, it happens to the best of us. You've got to try really hard to exstinguish that small flame for him for good. It's going to be really hard now that you've been with him twice but you'll feel a load better if you just forget. Don't make ANY contact with him, whether he messages you or not, and live your life, meet new people and try new things! Eventually you'll feel better, and you'll move on. How fast you do is totally up to you.

Best of luck!

mmresd · May 25, 2012, 10:45 AM

Cut all ties, change your number, erase him from everything, make it impossible for him to reach you, and go no contact again, forever, eventually, you will get over this.

talaniman · May 26, 2012, 02:15 PM

You fell for nothing, as how were you to know he had turned into a lying cheater? He lied and deceived. Forgive yourself and in time forgive the idiot too. Its sad that a good guy could fall so far, so fast. Pity the wife and child of the scoundrel, you can leave, they cannot, and you are probably not his first or last victim.

Now that you know I doubt you fall for his crap again, ever in life.

Marilu87 · May 27, 2012, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You fell for nothing, as how were you to know he had turned into a lying cheater?. He lied and decieved. Forgive yourself and in time forgive the idiot too. Its sad that a good guy could fall so far, so fast. Pity the wife and child of the scoundrel, you can leave, they cannot, and you are probably not his first or last victim.

Now that you know I doubt you fall for his crap again, ever in life.

Thank you for taking the time to read and for the advice and opinions, they were helpful. Yeah it was the biggest lesson I have yet learned so far, I should have not let our history get in between, it was history for a reason. This has been an eye opener on so many levels and yes Talaniman you're damn right this will never happen again, ever! I just wish I could forget a lot more sooner lol thank you again.

talaniman · May 27, 2012, 02:35 PM

LOL, I personally have found forgetting hurtful events and people to be totally impossible for me. But I have found a perfectly good coping strategy that has worked over and over. Forgive my dumb a$$ from being so dense, do better, and be ready for the next big event, by getting busy with projects tasks and goals that require me to focus, and not be able to dwell on my own BS!

Forgetting how dumb I can be, sets me up to be even dumber in the future. To be honest I have been so dumb in the past, so many times, I should really be a genius now. Or at least smart until my next DUMB event, that I suspect is very soon.

Hey I don't mean to be so dumb sometimes! It just seems to happen!

The point is to stop blaming yourself for the mistakes of the past, and do better in the future,
Starting today.

At least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!