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lydiasmom93 · May 23, 2012, 02:10 PM

I have been with my boyfriend coming up on 5 years now and our daughter is going to be 3 in September. We are living together in an apartment currently, but are talking about getting a house soon together. But why hasn't he proposed yet. I brought it up for the first time after our daughter was born. Then a second time a couple months after she turned one, and the I told myself it would be the last time a week ago and I haven't brought it up since.

But I just feel like he is only with me because of our daughter when I asked him why he wasn't asking me he said he wants to he just is saving money and then today he was telling me about how he wants to get a new car and how he is going to start setting money aside and how we will be able to afford it. I didn't say anything I was speechless.

mmresd · May 23, 2012, 02:20 PM

So he is planning a better life for himself and his family that includes you and your daughter, and you were speechless? I hope it was in admiration of his efforts...

What is the rush, you two are practically married, what exactly is it that you feel you are missing? Keep working at your relationship, and concentrate on things to get better, do not put unnecessary stress in the relationship, he will do it when he is ready.

talaniman · May 23, 2012, 02:30 PM

Instead of being speechless you should have told him forget the car, you better get a ring and a preacher. He needs to know its time to crap, or get off the pot. That's saving for it excuse is the oldest in the book. Why do you allow it?

DoulaLC · May 23, 2012, 03:10 PM

Propose to him and see what he says.

lydiasmom93 · May 23, 2012, 07:30 PM

Okay I just didn't see the need in him needing a new car when he is already driving a 2012 escalade

talaniman · May 24, 2012, 05:25 AM

Neither do I.

mickeylen · May 24, 2012, 06:15 AM

Heck no you should have exploded when he said he wants a new car. Sometimes I feel the same okay me and my boyfriend have only been together for two years now, we live together, everything is paid, we have more than we need, the money is there, he asks me everyday if I still want to marry him but never asks me the real question. Its driving me insane and I'm not a patient person at all. There is no reason to wait so why wait?

talaniman · May 24, 2012, 06:34 AM

Seems it's a matter of priorities, but what strikes me is after living together, why is this not a mutual thing, as waiting for a guy to give you a ring and wedding should be a matter of discussion, not waiting.

I think you get very little action from a fellow who is committed to you and living with you, when its time for what YOU think is the traditional next step. I mean as a guy if you wanted it that bad you would stop expecting us guys to just think traditional, and make marriage a priority, instead of an option.

When things are going good and we are happy and comfortable, no guy will actually rock the boat. You have to rock it yourself. That would seem better than waiting, wishing, and hoping, and competing with new cars or golf clubs.

dillydoo12 · Jul 3, 2012, 09:44 PM

I am in the same boat been together 3 years I'm 22 he's 24 in nov - we live otgether have a mortgage , and he's always going off buying stupid stuff rather then a ring we've talked about it and he says it will happen but makes it sound soooo far away its ridiculous! And frustrating , my uncle has children to a woman and honestly I don't think hell ever propose he doesn't see the point. BUT she "trapped" him were as we have other friends who have a four year old and have just gotten married :) so stay positive.