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4answers · Mar 6, 2007, 05:47 AM

As a guy I know the loneliness of being single, the longing for a partner, seeing a girl who you like and having to approach her because she will not approach you, and when you do a approach her, you are one of a million (lol, or so it seems) blokes after her. Also having women who you do not like pursue you, whilst the ones you like show no interest at all.

You have friends giving you loads of stupid advice, like "you know what you need, is a girlfriend, you should settle down etc, you should be married with family by now"

Really, you know I had not thought of that! I know its all good intentions but wishing for something does not necessarily make it so.

I wonder if women face the same problems, pressures etc ?

Squiffy · Mar 6, 2007, 05:52 AM

Course we women do. In some ways it is worse because we have got our damned biological clock ticking away all the time too!

When I was single I will admit it didn't bother me all that much. My marriage had ended and I had two babies and wasn't really looking for anyone else in my life, but I found someone and couldn't be happier. But a very good friend of mine is approaching 30, and has no partner and no children and she is so depressed about it all. She feels like a failure.

I would say there is someone out there for you, I know it sounds like a cliché but there is, some people find that someone when they are young, others when they are older. But when two people are meant to be together they will be.

faithl · Mar 6, 2007, 08:14 AM

It is exactly the same for women - and I can vouch for that. I don't so much get the annoying advice, but I do get men I have not the LEAST interest in after me, while the ones I adore aren't interested. It is really starting to p*** me off. Stuff al this 'Men are from Mars... ' crap - underneath it all, men and women have the same fears and the same desires. Too much emphasis is placed on our differences - especially here in the UK, we have this awful 'lad' culture of men pretending they're only after sex, when dep down they're just as lonely as we are!

4answers · Mar 6, 2007, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by faithl

Stuff al this 'Men are from Mars...' crap - underneath it all, men and women have the same fears and the same desires. Too much emphasis is placed on our differences - especially here in the UK, we have this awful 'lad' culture of men pretending they're only after sex, when dep down they're just as lonely as we are!!

Yes that is true. You know when you go for a job, you hand over a cv with you details on. Perhaps we all need a relationship cv, with all our likes and desires on. Life would be so much simpler ! Lol

tinsign · Mar 6, 2007, 09:54 AM

Relationship advice from well meaning people can certainly confuse anyone, it is just as hard for everyone be it man or woman.
YES I have had those men I had no desire in getting into a relationship wanting me while the one I truly wanted didn't want me.

Jiser · Mar 6, 2007, 09:58 AM

Maybe there is some money to be made then in an all new venture

**THE RELATIONSHIP CV SITE**

1) - Post your relationship CV and we will match you right up
2) - We will arrange for interviews to take place

;( I wish it was as easy as that

LBP · Mar 6, 2007, 02:44 PM

See, but when a guy admits he's lonely to a women, she thinks "What a wuss, who would want to be with him?" and moves on... Frankly, I keep up the bravado because you don't get anywhere without it...

Reang · Mar 6, 2007, 02:51 PM

It's been a while since I was pursuing a guy, but when I'm single I feel free. Free to do what I like with whoever I like. Wear what I want, instead of trying to look good for someone. I don't feel lonely. I don't know why. I suppose I should though.

faithl · Mar 6, 2007, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by Reang

It's been a while since I was pursuing a guy, but when I'm single I feel free. Free to do what I like with whoever I like. Wear what I want, instead of trying to look good for someone. I don't feel lonely. I don't know why. I suppose I should though.

Hey, good for you! It seems almost taboo to be happy to be single. If only more people were like you. (Me being one of them)

And LBP - I wouldn't think a man was a wuss if he told me he was lonely. Like I said, underneath men's bravado and women's supposed indifference, we are all lonely souls: we all are desperate to be loved, even if we play the cynic and pretend to puke when anything to do with romance is mentioned - EVERYBODY cries and aches and longs to be held in someone's arms. Everybody. *sniff* Now, did someone mention sickbags..

4answers · Mar 7, 2007, 05:06 AM

Originally Posted by faithl

and women's supposed indifference,

Interesting you should say that ! A lot of women put on a shield of sorts, that says to guys leave me alone, I am not interested... And funny enough that's exactly what the guy will do, unless he is an inconsiderate, selfish jerk only after his own needs. Funny how girls end up with these type of guys!!

talaniman · Mar 7, 2007, 11:04 AM

We all would love to be hooked up, but being single has a lot of advantages and should be looked on as a fun time in your life and a chance to be happy with yourself and the things you do. It won't be much of a relationship if you depend on someone else to give you a life. To have someone just for the sake of having them is not very healthy or the basis for any long term relationship. If your not enjoying being single then look in the mirror and ask why not?