[browneyesgirl27]

Hi guys. I'm having a bit of a problem here...

I've been with my girlfriend for a little over a year now, and have been living with her for months. In the beginning of our relationship, our sex life was incredible. She'd initiate it often; not as much as I would, but pretty close, and our consistency was between 3-5 times a week. She seemed to enjoy the intimacy just as much as I did, gave me compliments here and there on my performance, etc etc. But recently, (and by recently I mean shortly after new year's) our sex life has gone to crap. She's not interested. Her sex drive literally took a nose-dive and crashed. It's hard on me because I get something out of it other than the physical pleasure, and since we're not having sex anymore, I feel like I'm missing something. She won't kiss me either anymore, or VERY rarely does, and that's also something she used to love to do.

Now, comparatively, she's not an incredibly sexual creature; she's not the most sex-driven woman out there to begin with. But even still, she obviously had a healthy sex drive before. I just don't know what to do. I've tried initiating sex, lighting candles, giving body massages, running hot baths, everything, and she's just not interested. I've even talked to her about it a few times, because I'm an honest person and I wanted her to understand how I feel, as well as try and figure out what was going on with her. I'm trying not to whine to her about it all the time. I try not to bring it up, try not to make her feel bad... But it gets really hard. Sometimes it's actually emotionally painful, because I feel rejected. I feel like she doesn't want me anymore. Like I'm not attractive, like I don't mean anything, or at least not what I used to. She says she still loves me, that she still thinks I'm pretty and everything, but the situation is still difficult to handle. Does anyone have any ideas? How do I fix it? I don't need to have the exact sex life I used to... But I'd like to at least HAVE one...

[momospitfire]

Girls get sick of things pretty quickly, trust me MOVE ON I'm so sorry dude but as a girl those signs are RED FLAGS confront her first and get her to spill why she's like this but really it probably isn't good save yourself tears and just walk away

[browneyesgirl27]

I'm actually a girl...

But still, seems a little cold and shallow to leave someone just because you can't get sex out of them. Do you think there's any other solution?

[sassymel]

Has she done anything to indicate that she might be seeing someone else? I don't think it makes sense to live with someone and there is no affection, the human needs that, its like the air we breathe. You need to find out what is wrong either by visiting a therapists or suggesting some kind of aphrodisiac which could re-ignite something, u don't want to co-exist with her and then having self esteem issues.

[browneyesgirl27]

No, she's not seeing anyone else. We're completely faithful to each other. Plus, she's not that kind of person.

But I don't know... Her boyfriend before me was abusive... This could be a delayed reaction to the trauma she experienced with him, actually.

[MeganMoo13]

What does she say when you ask her about it?

[talaniman]

When the lust has faded the love should grow, and to do that you have to make love to the mind, and the body will follow. Do this through honeest communications because sex is seldom enough to sustain a healthy relationship. Start with what has changed (besides the sex) in your lives, and explore it.