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    ldd12's Avatar
    ldd12 Posts: 20, Reputation: 7
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 8, 2012, 09:28 AM
    How to make it clear its not going to happen?
    I have a persistent ex from three years ago that continues to confess his feelings for me to friends/family. This started back in November, he said he still had feelings, I told him I wasn't interested and wished him the best. I went into no contact with him, he has sent me a few messages about random facts but I never responded. I have not talked to him since that message that I was not interested.

    I thought the situation of him confessing feelings was over, to only find out that he has been talking to mutual friends about how much he misses and wants me back. Since the break up three years ago, we have rarely spoken and maybe saw each other twice, so this whole situation is odd to me. One mutual acquaintance tried to share all the text messages he (the ex) has ever sent her about me, I said I was not interested in reading them or getting back together with him. This was two weeks ago, again I thought the situation was over with as I clearly told her (acquaintance) and the ex that I was not interested. Since Sunday, I have received about a novel worth of text messages about his feelings, how sorry he is for what he did in the past, and how he misses my companionship. I have not replied to them yet.

    Am I missing something, since when does I'm not interested mean persist some more? What is the best way to make this clear that I am not interested in having him in my life?
    cmeeks's Avatar
    cmeeks Posts: 754, Reputation: 64
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    May 8, 2012, 01:33 PM
    It is important that you cut off all contact with him and initiate no contact with his family or friends in the case of mutual friends or if his family contacts you tell them that you are not interested and ask them to convey this message. If he contacts you tell him that you are not interested and ask him not to contact you again. If he becomes angry or verbally abusive seek a restraining order. You having contact with his family or friends can encourage him and make him think you are still open to reconciliation. You have to have one message to him, his friends and family that being "No I am not interested and I have moved on and no longer want any contact with him or those close to him:.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    May 8, 2012, 03:51 PM
    Restraining order? Nothing more clear than that... but use it with precaution.

    Talk to him, tell him to back off, or that you will get the authorities involves, he is stalking you in a passive manner, and you need to get this under control before it gets out of it. Also, erase him from everything, and change your phone number if you need to.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    May 8, 2012, 06:53 PM
    Send his emails to spam, and tell your friends to do the same, and make it clear his contacts with him are THEIR problem, not YOURS!! The next step is more drastic, and involves threats and cops, much cussing and humiliating the poor obsessed fool.

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