[Mickylee1989]

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. We are engaged to get married but I keep pushing it back because I'm deploying in November and I'm afraid to go through with it before leaving. When we first got together she cheated on me with her ex. She told me after a few months and I eventually attempted to forgive her. Lately she's been saying really harsh things such as "you're a loser, nobody cares about you, burn in hell" and she's been super violent. She ran into the room and punched me, punched me in the face, so I hold her down to stop her from attacking. I feel super guilty about having to restrain her, she's overly violent and I feel she has went pyschotic. Recently she just took up video gaming, and she never wants to do anything hardly. We are both full time College students and I'm wondering if there is advice on how to handle this or if I should call it game over?

[Curlyben]

My girl has been violent in word and deed, what do I do? - DUMP her, simple really..
Life is too short to be spent in an abusive relationship.

[Mickylee1989]

That's what I was thinking; the only issue is, I tried that about a week ago, she never moved out of my house. She lingered around and kept acting all nice and we got back together, but last night she went off again. How can I get her out of the house?

[Cat1864]

I would be tempted to say game over. I think it might be best for both of you because I don't think she will be stable enough to handle being alone while you are gone. Marriage will not 'fix' the issues.

But I am also going to bring up something you might want to sit down and talk to her about.

When did she start becoming abusive and when do you deploy? Could she be trying to drive you away because you are leaving and she is scared? Some people will push others away in an effort to protect themselves from being hurt. If this is the case for her, you can see it only causes more pain and negative thoughts and emotions.

It isn't your fault. It isn't something you can fix. She has to acknowledge the insecurity and how and she is reacting. She has to be the one to fix the issue. It's hard work and takes time. It might even take counseling.

Whatever, she decides to do has to be for herself. I think you would do better calling the wedding off and walking away before you accidentally hurt her and end up arrested. Be honest that your current and future career and you health is not worth her as she is behaving now. Is her future and health worth acting out and her possibly being arrested? Perhaps I should say probably because I think it is coming to the point where you need to call the police and press charges especially if others witness her hitting you.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and may you com back from deployment safe and sound.

[talaniman]

Game over!!

[Mickylee1989]

Thanks for all the insight. I do appreciate the help.