[natyshad]

I had a restraining order and supervised visit against my ex husband. He waited months later and started texting and calling my phone to speak to children. Recently he asked could he spend time with his son and not his daughter. So I said yes not remembering about order. Once he gets him he lies and says I left him outside at 1 am by himself. Cops get involved and dyfys. When court day came no one believed his lie and he had to return my son to me. Then the judge relaxes restraining order and supervised visits and gives him the children from wed-fri. I said I didn't agree but the judge didn't listen. I already cancelled lease at my apt and the transfer has been made at job. If I stay in jersey I'm screwed. I'm about to just leave but I don't want to get arrested. What should I do?

[Fr_Chuck]

You started allowing him to see the kids, your action showed the protection orders were not important to them, so why did you think they would say in place.

You also showed you trusted him with the child.

So now he has visits that are court ordered, you have to allow him to see the children according to the court order ( or hire an attorney to try and get it changed back) if you refuse to allow him to see the children, he can take you back to court for contempt.

If you try to run off with the kids, he could well get full custody of them, showing you kidnapped them and took them out of state to hide them from him.

[natyshad]

Not trying to run off I financially and emotionally can't afford to stay here and he hasn't been in there until just last week so if I had a lawyer I would be moving but because I am experiencing hardship I'm stuck here to rot. I am not trying to deprive him just want the visitation changed to where he gets them in the summer and I have them in during school year but once again he is unreasonable.

[cdad]

Not trying to run off I financially and emotionally can't afford to stay here and he hasn't been in there until just last week so if I had a lawyer I would be moving but because I am experiencing hardship I'm stuck here to rot. I am not trying to deprive him just want the visitation changed to where he gets them in the summer and I have them in during school year but once again he is unreasonable.

Are you also offering to pay any additional expenses related to visitation? Since you're the one who is moving it wouldn't be unreasonable.

[ScottGem]

Did you tell the court that you had already made plans for a move? Sounds like you handled this badly from day one.

The only thing I can suggest is to go back to the court and request an emergency hearing for a change in the visitation. Sounds to me like he knew about your planned move and is doing this to spite you.

[natyshad]

I would pay. I did before I came down from Florida and I would most definitely do it again! I'm struggling out here honest...

[natyshad]

I can't afford to miss any more days at work. I feel like my backs against the wall, I can't breath.

[ScottGem]

I'm sorry, but the old saying an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure applies here. Had you done your research and prepared before letting him see his son you might not be in this predicament. But you didn't and you are. And you need to try to get the court to see it your way.

[natyshad]

I understand. That's not a good answer that's another way of saying go shoot yourself in the face. I need to move. I'm facing eviction and my income doesn't match what bills are and I have two children.

[natyshad]

I need a single mom with children to answer who's been screwed over by a lying ex husband...