[kirsti_x_x]

I met my boyfriend in 2003, he was a friend of my brothers and I had just met him. He used to come round my house and make it very clear that he liked me. However I was not so smitten, I was 15 and he was 18 almost 19, soon he grew on me and his 'hard to get' persona finally won me over.
We had some of the best times of my life. We did everything together, he spent christmas' with me, we went away together on holidays, we shared our birthdays together, our times together were amazing.
But by October 2005 it was time for him to start university. He was 20 and I was 17, I was very wary of the fact he was going to be living away, and knew he would be mixing with a lot of other girls.
He reassured me, he invited me along with him to the fresher's ball, bought me teddy's and presents trying to show he still loved me and came back to see me quite often in the first few weeks.
But the stress of me worrying took it's toll on the relationship, I couldn't take being apart from him, and used to phone him and argue. We broke up after 6 weeks of him being at uni. It crushed me, I couldn't cope without him, I emailed him and rang him crying, to no avail, it pushed him further and further away.
So I stopped with the chasing, acted aloof, he soon came running back, and after 3 months we got back together.
But again, the constant worrying began, he text me once instead of another girl who I always had suspicions about, he did lots of things that got be worried about him cheating,
3 months after we got back together I had found out he had cheated on me exactly a year ago with a girl who lived near him who I had never met, but I was always sure he had feelings for as he kept her very apart from me.
I rang him and confronted him, he admitted he had feelings for her, and used to go round her house quite often and they would kiss, nothing else.
Still, it killed me, I retaliated and told him it was over I was so hurt, he asked if we could just forget it, after all it did happen so long ago, but I wouldn't have any of it, he just didn't seem to care.
Later that day I rang him, told him I still wanted to make things work, but he said no, I kept ringing and texting him in floods of tears begging for him back until he just started to ignore his phone.
This was 2 weeks before my 18th birthday, I became quite ill and couldn't swallow any food, by my birthday I had almost lost a stone, and couldn't even eat any of my birthday meal.
I received a very blunt birthday card from him, but no text or phone call. That hurt, but I knew it was time to move on, after all he had cheated on me. I didn't speak or get in contact whatsoever. He noticed this, and when he was back from uni in the summer he was back in touch, we didn't get back together but we spent a lot of time together during last summer, it was almost like we were a couple again. He mentioned the fact he wanted me back, but I thought it was just an act because he was jealous of another guy who was texting me, so I thought it would be best to ignore it.
He then went back to uni in October for his second year, he constantly tex me saying he wanted me to go and see him, and that he missed me lots, so I did go and see him, November 5th last year, we slept together and he told me he loved me so much. This was the last time I saw him, and the longest we've been apart.
However he text me a few times after that, then he gradually stopped being in touch.
I then found out in December that he had a new girlfriend at uni, a girl on his course who I had met before, stunning and very intelligent and witty. I found out Off someone who found out off someone else, so he had no intention of me finding out.
When he was back from uni last christmas he asked me round his new house his parents had just bought, later that day he text me saying something had happened and he couldn't see me and he would explain later, but he never did.
He just didn't seem bothered about seeing me at all, he worked in a pub near where I lived, but made no attempt to visit.
Christmas day came and I received a message from him saying 'happy christmas, thinking of you'.
But he had a girlfriend to think about not me! I text back saying 'cheers, have a good day'. I wanted to keep it blunt.
At the beginning of 2007 he spoke to me several times on the internet saying he'd like to meet up again, and that he misses me a lot. This really confused me, he also tried to call me a couple of weeks ago but I missed the call, when I tried to call back he didn't answer.
So, after constantly having him on my mind day in, day out, I went on his 'facebook' (a computer site where friends from uni leave you online messages) and clicked on his girlfriend's page where he had told her she is all he thinks about every day, and how they should both move to Australia together and how it would be so good for them both.
This was it, I thought my heart was broken badly enough, but this hurt too much, how can I get him back? I don't want him to start a new life with her, I want to be with him so much :(

[Jiser]

It is clear this affecting your ability to have any sense of a 'life.' You can't and shouldn't be pursuing a relationship with this person. He is stringing you along, probably as a backup plan. Do you want to be someone's sloppy 2nd's?


1) Please abide by no contact
2) Get everything which reminds you of the man out of your life, box it up do whatever. Remember - "Out of sight, out of mind"
3) Time will help
4) Invest in yourself and your life, renew your old social ties, and start new hobbies

[phoenix1664]

I will be hones I am no expert but after he has hurt you so much can you trust him with your heart again,

It just seems that he us keeping you as a fall back I don't want to soung bad or anything but he just seems to be using you incasse his relationships fall apart,

I am not going to try and tell you what to do but I would not give him the satisfaction of breaking my heart again you will feel for him but just try and get past it.


Hope it works out for you

[talaniman]

I know it hurts right now but how much cheating and misery can you take? Enough of being stuck on a guy who dishes out the pain and find one who enjoys you and life and is about fun, not drama. Leave him alone and get busy with a life you enjoy without him.