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kevhall999 · Apr 29, 2012, 02:22 AM

My girlfriend says she is 'not into' getting head. But she was fine about giving me head. We're both 18 and in a pretty strong relationship and she is more sexually experienced than I am. Should I still try it during an intimate moment?

JudyKayTee · Apr 29, 2012, 06:45 AM

If she's said no (she's not "into" head) and I would assume she means it.

Why would you attempt to force something she clearly has said she does not enjoy and/or want?

You can talk to her about "it" - but I don't know that that will change things.

It's not what she likes.

LadySam · Apr 29, 2012, 07:21 AM

It's a simple matter of personal preference.
You could talk to her about it, but if you don't respect her wishes, you may only succeed in killing the moment.

J_9 · Apr 29, 2012, 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by kevhall999

Should I still try it during an intimate moment?

Without her permission... NO. Not all people like to receive and/or give oral sex. Talk to her. Communication is KEY. If she does not want to receive it, respect her wishes.

JudyKayTee · Apr 29, 2012, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by LadySam

It's a simple matter of personal preference.
You could talk to her about it, but if you don't respect her wishes, you may only succeed in killing the moment.

- and very possibly, the relationship.

Someone posted here that his girlfriend didn't want/like anal sex. So - "in the moment" he thought it would be a good idea to try.

End of relationship. Me? I'd have charged him with battery.

LadySam · Apr 29, 2012, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

- and very possibly, the relationship.

Someone posted here that his girlfriend didn't want/like anal sex. So - "in the moment" he thought it would be a good idea to try.

End of relationship. Me? I'd have charged him with battery.

So true, more implications than just the moment.
No is No, any way you look at it.
A persons' body is just that, THEIR body.

smoothy · Apr 29, 2012, 02:13 PM

Its HER choice if she says no... however its YOUR choice if you want to continue in the relationship. My personal experience... is women that don't want that, harbors a lot of other sexual inhibitions as well. However it is her choice to miss out on something fantastic... you can talk to her... which is a good idea... maybe you can find out why she is opposed to it... might be as simple as fear of having a bad smell... or other issue... and perhaps she may change her mind in the future but understand she might not.

I see a lot of STOP signs as warnings of other issues you aren't ware of yet... take your time and don't jump into anything too quick with her... I see more reasons to be cautious... personally... in hindsight.. I would steer clear of a woman that said no to that... but everyone is different. You have to decide how important that is to you.

Keep in mind there are only two letters that stand between having a lot of enjoyment... and a long prison term... those are "NO".

Fr_Chuck · Apr 29, 2012, 02:59 PM

Why do you feel the need to do something sexually she does not want. Is there a problem resepcting her choices.

kevhall999 · Apr 29, 2012, 03:45 PM

I really want to experience it though. This is my first sexual relationship and I want to try all the things I can. And I feel I can make her feel really good if she gives me the opportunity. She said that she would want to have penetrative sex, but that she would dislike receiving oral sex. I just don't understand it. Giving oral sex is kind of a fetish of mine.

I want to respect her, but it's tough when this is something I really want to experience.

DoulaLC · Apr 29, 2012, 03:57 PM

How long have you been dating each other? What don't you understand? Aren't there things in life that you don't enjoy doing?

If you feel compelled to have to give someone oral sex, and want to experience what is it like, and she has said that she dislikes the idea, then you have little choice. Decide whether this issue is a deal breaker for you. If so, end the relationship and find someone who is interested in trying the things that you are.

Synnen · Apr 29, 2012, 05:36 PM

Oral sex, if done wrong on a woman, isn't only not fun---it can be uncomfortable enough to HURT. It most certainly kills the moment when it's unwanted.

If she says no, she means no. End of story. YOU don't get to bring it up again until SHE does.

If you want to date someone who likes receiving oral sex, it's NOT your current girlfriend.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 29, 2012, 05:49 PM

How can it be a fetish if you have never done it ? Obsession perhaps.

If this is that important then break up with her and look for someone who wants to do it.

No means no, many women do not like it for various reasons.

smoothy · Apr 29, 2012, 06:48 PM

Also keep in mind... if you haven't done it before... odds are you are going to suck at it... (pun intended).

Its NOT intuitive.. and there is steep learning curve.

Synnen · Apr 29, 2012, 08:12 PM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Also keep in mind...if you haven't done it before...odds are you are going to suck at it...(pun intended).

Its NOT intuitive..and there is steep learning curve.

Plus---too many men have their egos linked to their partner's satisfaction. In other words, when you're doing it wrong, we women become the bad guys when we have to tell you that you're not doing it right.

JudyKayTee · Apr 30, 2012, 04:07 AM

I would object to being a learning tool, which is exactly how you sound to me. This is something you want to experience so you're attempting to con/force her into it?

Do her a favor and find someone else.

SentientAndroid · May 1, 2012, 07:28 AM

Just leave it alone. One of my ex's was the same way, she just didn't care for it at all. We tried it a few times because I didn't mind making an attempt, but nothing worked. She still took care of me down there, so I got mine without having to return the favor :D

Seriously though, people have personal preferences of what they like and don't like. If she wanted to shove a thumb up your butt during intercourse, even though you didn't like it, would you let her?

smoothy · May 1, 2012, 07:46 AM

Originally Posted by SentientAndroid

If she wanted to shove a thumb up your butt during intercourse, even though you didn't like it, would you let her?

Damn... almost spewed Pepsi on my screen when I read that... got a big chuckle from it...

OneDude79 · May 1, 2012, 10:42 AM

My wife seems to have an aversion to it as well, but has never answered me specifically when I ask her.

I'm fine with not doing it if she doesn't like it, but I know I'm not getting her off at all in any other way.

Does your girlfriend reach orgasm when you do other things or have you not gotten that far yet?

JudyKayTee · May 1, 2012, 12:38 PM

When a female gives oral to a male the slang is giving head. When a MALE gives oral to a female is it still giving head?

JudyKayTee · May 1, 2012, 12:39 PM

Originally Posted by OneDude79

My wife seems to have an aversion to it as well, but has never answered me specifically when I ask her.

I'm fine with not doing it if she doesn't like it, but I know I'm not getting her off at all in any other way.

Does your girlfriend reach orgasm when you do other things or have you not gotten that far yet?

She's your wife. You presumably talk about problems and potential problems in your marriage.

This isn't a problem for her?