[kdfontenot]

My son's father just recently changed his own last name back to his mother's maiden name and now wants to change my 5 year old son's last name. My son has my last name, he has been in school for two years now, and his father isn't paying child support. He in fact has a warrant out for his arrest because of the back child support. However, his attorney told him that he would still be able to change my son's last name to his... can he do this? His biological father has a felony record, dishonorable discharge, can't hold a job, and is living with a friend and his family. I have my own home, work full time, and I am a full time student with the Bethel Success online program. My son and I reside in Henry County jurisdiction, father lives in Carroll County jurisdiction, both in Tennesee.

[Fr_Chuck]

He can take you to court and attempt to show it is in the child's best interest. I don't see much chance of winning, but you will need an attorney to represent you in court.

Of course is he just telling you this, sounds more like BS that he is threatening you with, in attempt to have you stop trying to get child support, Has he offered to stop this is you stop going after child support ?

[ScottGem]

How do you know his attorney told him that? Because he told you or did the attorney tell you? I suspect, his attorney told him nothing of the sort. He might have told him that he can file a request for the name change, but not that he is likely to get it. A court is not likely to order a name change without both parent's consent. In fact, I think you stand a greater chance of getting his name changed to yours.

One more point. If he does petition for a name change it will be processed independent of the child support issue. Except for one thing. If there is a warrant out for his arrest how does he expect to go into court?

[kdfontenot]

I haven't even pursued child support, the state has. I still allow my son to go to his father's grandmother's every other weekend, which was our agreement in court when he was paying child support. I still let my child go even though he's not paying just because he wants to see his grandparents and sometimes he see's his dad.

The child support office has sent me letter's about appearing in court due to him not paying, and then of course he's held in contempt. But when they go to serve him papers at his mothers house, they tell the cop that he doesn't live there and they have no information on him. So I can definitely stop allowing my son to go over there if I wanted to, but I don't want to punish my son either.

My main concern, I'm fine that he doesn't pay child support because that 's just who he is and some people just don't change. So I don't expect that and just grown used to it. I just don't want him to be able to change his last name, my son doesn't even know his biological fathers last name. My son only knows the name he's carried for the past 5 1/2 years to be his name, and my name as well.

[Fr_Chuck]

Child visit and child support are not connected, he can take you to court if you do not allow him to visit even if he is not paying support. If he is not paying his court ordered support turn him over to child support enforcement, it is your child's money he is cheating the child out of.

[ScottGem]

If the court ordered you bring your son to his grandmother every other weekend than you have to continue to do so. Whether he pays support or not has no bearing on that.

But if there is a warrant then he will not take you to court. If he appears in court the warrant will be served and he will be arrested.

[kdfontenot]

I suspect that his mom will pay a big portion down on the child support to show effort that he is paying. I've heard of situations where the father can pay a percentage of the child support and then have his warrant lifted, other than that he would just be setting himself up for an arrest. I haven't been pushing the child support office on this only because every time I call they just tell me, "well we've tried and can't find him." So I really don't get anywhere, and I don't call them and bug them at all because they treat me like I'm one of those mom's who are always on their case to find the father. But both of you are right on this, I should push this for my son. I'm just always afraid of more conflict and added drama, but I reckon that's just part of it.

[kdfontenot]

And thank you for advising me on the "grandma visit's". After being hit with this information on the name change this weekend I had decided he wouldn't go back until they all stopped with the threats. And I most certainly don't want to violate a court order!