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OneLife1 · Apr 28, 2012, 06:16 AM

Hello,

I am 22 years old and I just graduated from university. I've sort of been alone all my life, I don't have much luck with women and I am tired of being single and alone. I have only had 1 girlfriend in the past which did not end well and I haven't had much dates in the past. Its actually been about 3 years now since I last went out on a date! My question is, how hard is it to find a smart, beautiful, nice, loyal, kind, funny woman to share my life with?

Anyway, sorry for the rant,

Thanks

Fr_Chuck · Apr 28, 2012, 07:02 AM

How many girls do you ask out each week.

Have you ever considered you are looking for too much or expecting to know them too well before you ask them on a first date ?

OneLife1 · Apr 28, 2012, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

How many girls do you ask out each week.

Have you ever considered you are looking for too much or expecting to know them too well before you ask them on a first date ?

Actually it's the opposite, I don't ask any girls out on dates. In my entire life I've only been out on like 3 dates.

I don't think I'm looking too much seeing how I made it this far mostly on my own.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 28, 2012, 10:05 AM

You are not going to date unless you ask people out. You will not know if they will be loyal, you do not know much about them at all, you just know that you can have someone to spend a few hours with trying to have some enjoyment,

You date several people and see if they are someone you like to spend time with.

Or you can choose just to spend time alone. And of course 22 is not "far" it is actually just starting, since dating in high school and college is more about lust and looks and not really relationships as much.

OneLife1 · Apr 28, 2012, 10:19 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

You are not going to date unless you ask people out. You will not know if they will be loyal, you do not know much about them at all, you just know that you can have someone to spend a few hours with trying to have some enjoyment,

You date several people and see if they are someone you like to spend time with.

Or you can choose just to spend time alone. And of course 22 is not "far" it is actually just starting, since dating in high school and college is more about lust and looks and not really relationships as much.

I don't know I just keep thinking that one day ill meet that person I want to be with, I guess that is sort of idealistic. I realize the first step is to get out there and get dates and meet people but that's sort of where I am stuck. I don't know how about to approach that. Im sort of an introvert, I don't have much dealings with other people. Besides a couple friends, heck I don't even talk to them much anymore, I don't talk to people unless I necessarily have to. Furthermore, I never have anything to say to anyone, guys or girls. I just go about doing my stuff, trying to achieve stuff for personal gain. I guess that is part of the problem is it?

joypulv · Apr 29, 2012, 08:23 AM

Perhaps you want your eyes and hers to meet across the room and all that jazz.
That happens so seldom that 99% of the ones I know about are in movies.
You have to get to know women, dozens, hundreds, who knows how many it might take. You say hi, you say hi nice day, you say hi I like your dress/glasses/dog, you proceed ever onward until you are giving more personal compliments and asking what she likes to do and if she might like what you like to do, or just ask her for a coffee or an ice cream. And after THAT there's more to do, and it's work. And many will fizzle.
Oh, and drop the beautiful. And loyal, which is too variable. You can't have everything in one package. Stay with nice, kind, and funny, and maybe smart, but heck, smart can come in many guises.
And you 'never have anything to say?' Then ask instead. Tell me all about yourself starting before you were born.