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Stacy529 · Apr 24, 2012, 07:45 PM

So me and my ex broke up last year around this time but we remained friends. We still argue over stupid things and he will ignore me for about a week or so and then come back like nothing happened. We just recently got into an argument and it's been two weeks now and I haven't heard from him. I went up to him at work (we work together) and asked for the stuff I have at his house back and he rolled his eyes and walked away. I do not know what to do or if he is ever going to talk to me again and I guess it's really hurting me because I still have feelings for him. So basically I do not know what to do.

Jay254 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:04 PM

Have you told him how you feel? And that you still like him? What were the circumstances on which you guys broke up? You don't have to answer that latter question in writing but just think about the situation.

About the part on getting your stuff back, if he absolutely refuses to or doesn't acknowledge you on it, I would talk to whomever he lives with. IF he lives with anyone, that is...

I hope this helped. If you don't mind, could you read my post and give me advice? It's titled "my girlfriend keeps talking to her ex. I need advice". Thank you so much and I hope my advice helped at least a little bit. Best of luck to you.

Stacy529 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:08 PM

We always used to fight. We're both 21 and I was his first girlfriend, his first everything so he doesn't know the stuff you go through when you are in a relationship. Yes I've told him how I feel about him and he just tells me he likes being friends and that's all he doesn't want the stress of a relationship and he doesn't think we can be together again but honestly he's my first love and it's so hard to let go. He lives with his mom but has told her not to answer the door if I come by, I was close with his family and I used to go see his mom and stuff and she would let me in if he wasn't home and what not and now he told her not to that if he invites me over hell answer. He's a jerk at times I'll admit but I still do love him.

none12345 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:11 PM

You will need to move on. If you remain friends with him, you will never feel better. Im sorry to say this but don't be a push over. Whenever he feels like contacting you, you come running to him. Stop talking to him, avoid him, delete him from Facebook, cell phone etc and start the healing process and eventually you ll be able to think of him without feeling any hurt.

Stacy529 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:15 PM

What about my things at his house though? He's not the type to keep things that aren't his so I don't understand why he rolled his eyes and walked away when I asked if I could get them.

Jay254 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:23 PM

So, my understanding is that you work with him at the same place?? That's got to be hard to deal with. :/ I would hate to be in that situation. Like none12345 said, you need to try to get over him. I think the best way to do this is by being with friends and family. Also, I know you might not be ready to start dating again, but just meet new guys and talk to them. You're single now and you're aloud to mingle. There are sooo many other guys out there and one of them HAVE to be better than your ex. Trust me, it takes time to get over stuff like this. Time is all you need and just be patient. If anything just don't do anything irrational. And really let that last suggestion sink in. Because if you still even want a slight chance of being friends with him (and nothing else) you don't want to drive him away, you know?

Again about the part where your stuff is at his house. You haven't said that you've even tried going over and getting it. Have you?? If your ex-boyfriend's mom should understand. After all, she is an adult and listening to her son over her intuition would be foolish. Try going over when you know he's not there. Like when he's at work go over and tell his mom that you just want what rightfully belongs to you back in your possession..

P.S. I would not work at the same times as him. Try distancing yourself. Ask for different time shifts than him. This is the best advice I can give you.

none12345 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by Stacy529

What about my things at his house though? He's not the type to keep things that aren't his so I don't understand why he rolled his eyes and walked away when I asked if I could get them.

If they are not important things, forget about them. Leave them there. Whatever it is buy new stuff and if you work with him, quit and find a new job or avoid contact with him at all times or otherwise you ll just be hurt and never recover. I don't think that is what you want. Its time to start over fresh. Leave the past in the past and start a new life. Hopefully a few years down the road, you can start embracing the good things in the relationship instead of the bad.

Stacy529 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:31 PM

He got promoted so I think he'seaving our store soon and going to a different one so I won't be seeing him at work. And it's important jewlery that my aunt gave me and she passed away and he knows how important it is to me the only reason I forgot to grab it was because I slept over and took it off to sleep and just forgot to grab it, I didn't think when I asked for it he wouldn't give me an answer.

none12345 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:32 PM

If he doesn't give them back to you, file a police report and have a constable escort you to go get it.

Jay254 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:35 PM

I don't think getting the police involved is necessary. Like I said, have you tried talking to his mom?

Stacy529 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:40 PM

I guess I just don't want to go that extreme you know? I just don't get why he would keep them you know?

& I have but she always assumes he's going to talk to me again because in the past he has and she hates getting involved which I do understand.

Jay254 · Apr 24, 2012, 08:56 PM

Just tell her you want your stuff back. Don't even talk about the relationship.

Stacy529 · Apr 25, 2012, 07:11 AM

She won't answer the door so I won't get the chance to even talk to her

& I need advice on how to get over and forget about him. He's my first love I've never dealt with this before. I always worry about what he's doing even if I'm out. I want to get over him trust me but I don't know how.

mayu · Apr 25, 2012, 09:02 AM

I think you should just message him about the stuff you left at his house...
And I know its going to be hard getting over someone you love and see everyday as I am in the same situation that your in its really hard but for now just concentrate on your personal and professional growth...
Give it some time and I hope you will get over him and you will surely find a guy who cares about you and your feelings...

mmresd · Apr 25, 2012, 10:57 AM

You do what you should have done from the beginning... go NO contact.

There is no need to talk to your ex, and you should not try to have a friendship with an ex who you still have feelings for, which you obviously still do with this one. You need to stay as far away as possible and sometimes it is better to lose the things you left at his house for your peace of mind, do NOT use it as an excuse to see/talk to him like you have been doing.

Stacy529 · Apr 25, 2012, 12:16 PM

It's my aunts jewlery and she passed it means a lot to me I do need it back and I try not to text or call but it's so hard. I feel like I failed on the one guy who means the most to me. I just wish he'd realize all I've done for him and for him to just appreciate it. & I did message him about the stuff and even asked him at work for it and he rolled his eyes and walked away.

talaniman · Apr 25, 2012, 04:09 PM

Don't be a wuss and let him keep bullying you. He either gives it up, or you come by with a cop to claim it. Or you threaten to go to his manager. You have many options besides doing it his way.

Send him a note. NOW. Copy paste, deliver note below.

"Give me my jewelry NOW or we get the cops, the company, or both involved by end of business TODAY, you big bully"
Even threaten to sue his aunt.

none12345 · Apr 25, 2012, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by Stacy529

It's my aunts jewlery and she passed it means a lot to me I do need it back and I try not to text or call but it's so hard. I feel like I failed on the one guy who means the most to me. I just wish he'd realize all I've done for him and for him to just appreciate it. & I did message him about the stuff and even asked him at work for it and he rolled his eyes and walked away.

Oh please, I don't know what you expect us to say. You're only making up excuses. Buck up. You either go get it, and if he doesn't you file a police report exactly like what taliniman is saying. Sorry we don't give you the answers you want. Im starting to thiink the answer you want us to give you is to go back to your ex and beg him to take you back. That is not going to happen here.