[Lilahneedshelp]

There is this "friend" that I've known for more than 3 years. He is 18 and I'm 16. His mother is my riding teacher, and when I started riding at their place I had a huge crush on him. I never told him though,. but he knew. First he had a girlfriend anyway, so I didn't even bother trying to flirt with him (and I was only 13 or so).

His parents adore me (but I don't know if he likes that.. because their sometimes pretty disappointed with him, because he's not doing well in school... and I'm an A student) Most of the time he is trying to be a jerk to me.. he's only kidding.. but sometimes he does it that much that it hurts my feeling. Then when I get mad and ignore him, he comes crawling back.. saying he's sorry and he didn't mean it. When I tell him its OK, he just continues being a jerk the next day. He can be also very nice and sweet to me sometimes.

By now, he's had a couple of girlfriends that always lived far away, so they never saw each other that much. And he is being different around them (not really who he usually is). But I know almost everything about him.. even the bad things.. and the funny thing is that I even like those! Am I blinded from love? Or do I really like him that much that I don't care?

Well, I thought he didn't care about me that much, because sometimes he used to call me a child (although he is only 3 years older.. and still behaving irresponsible and immature) But the fact that I know how irresponsible he is, makes me want to take care of him, because every girl he's been with was only for sex (I think.. at least he gives comments about that). As soon as they got to know him better, or he got tired of them they broke up.

Sooo... About 2 years ago a couple of our friends, him and me spent the night together camping (I have to admit alcohol was involved.. but I wasn't that drunk and neither was he). After we girls went to sleep in the camper.. he came in at night and asked if I was still awake. I said yes and he told me to come out and look at something. So I did (and the thing I should look at was his friend puking?! Was that the reason why he wanted me to come? ) Well then he grabbed an extra pillow and we walked to a cottage/hut near by and decided to sleep there (him, me, his younger brother (who has a crush on me by the way,and his puking friend). So he set up a "double bed" for me and him, and the others were in another corner. After a while we thought they fell asleep.. and I could feel his hand on mine.. one thing came to another.. and we almost had sex (I think if we would have been alone and had a condom we wouldn't have stopped at just making out) the next morning I was shivering, and he woke up, put his blanket around me and wrapped his arms around me.

After a couple of hours a got up, went to "bathroom" and by the time I was back, the others were up too, and he just ignored me. We never talked about what happened, we actually wouldn't talk at all (he even stopped kidding me all the time) after a couple of months though, everything went back to normal, as if nothing ever happened.

Did I mention that he had a girlfriend when it happened? Well he broke up with her. Then had another one. One year later, his mother invited me to spend the night at their house, because she needed me the next day to help her with the horses. Guess what happened that night? Same thing? Making out in his bed, I passed out. Next morning I was alone in his room (because he thought his mom would get mad at him if she saw us). He made some comments like "damn girl.. u look like u had a rough night" (because I was pretty wasted) but he said it like what happened was no big deal.

One week later I went to live with my dad for a year.. and he gave me a long hug when we said goodbye (he never just hugged me like that before). Next month I'm moving back. We didn't have any contact at all since I left, and he had a girlfriend (but they broke up already).

So I don't know what to do. I always tell myself I'm over him. But obviously I'm not. I think he knows how I feel. But what am I to him? Did he just use me? But why is he on some days so nice and flirts with me? Or why doesn't he ask me out. (all these girlfriends he had.. and none of them was even really pretty or anything).. What's WRONG WITH ME? Am I not good enough? But then why did he get close to me more than once?

I'm confused. If he wasn't that important I would ask him, but he's not good at talking about feelings. And I really do want to get over him, since he doesn't like me, because he's just going to think he can have me whenever he wants! Am I wrong?

I never felt anything like this for anyone, and I can't imagine myself with anybody else but him (since almost 4 years or so). That's pretty unusual for a 16 year old :-/

[Campdraftqueen]

Don't worry about what he's doing because my BF did the same thing to me. All I did was went up to hm and sid look I like you and I hope you can deal with that and he did and now we are as happy as ever. But sometimes the guys like the girls to make the first move and if she doesn't then all you will stay as is friends. So make the first move. If he is still in your head then you really like him :)

[talaniman]

Sorry this may be harsh, and hard to hear, but I think your crush has you assuming he has a crush too, but I seriously doubt it. More than likely you are just a female that makes herself available to him when tipsy, and the opportunity presents itself.

He does this behind his mothers back so as not to get in trouble, or get you in trouble with her, or YOUR parents. This covers his but for his inappropriate bad behavior, and keeps you coming for more. He knows your, or his parents would never approve of this going on, and so do you. This whole thing stinks, as you have some fantasy he has feelings and the sexual encounters means something more than what it is. It doesn't mean a thing to him.

Sorry, but your crush is leading you down a very bad path that may end up breaking your heart when you stop drinking, and see what he is doing to you. Its going to hurt a lot when you see reality, and have wasted so much time on a fellow with but one thing on his mind, getting in your draws without any one suspecting a thing.

They way he treats you is not love, or caring, and the saddest part is your own feelings are what keep you blind, and naïve, and allow you to be a plaything for this selfish duffus!