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WillHarrison26 · Apr 21, 2012, 04:52 PM

So, me and her have been together over a year and four months. We started as really good friends and later started dating. We have always talked about being married and we love each other very much. We are entering college after this senior year. She started acting weird for about 2 weeks. Then one night said we should let this be. Later we talked about that I needed to give more space and be nicer. I started doing that and we got back together now after a few days she doesn't know what to do with us anymore. She still loves about me and cares and never wants to lose me she says. I'm wondering what's going through her mind and what I should do. I'm just completely heart broken.

talaniman · Apr 21, 2012, 05:56 PM

You have no choice guy, but to let her go, or this will get worse because as heart breaking as this is to you, she really wants you to let her go.

Sorry.

WillHarrison26 · Apr 21, 2012, 06:11 PM

Thanks for the help..

WillHarrison26 · Apr 22, 2012, 02:35 PM

So me and my girlfriend just broke up. I'm heart broken. She text me today saying she wanted me to still take her fishing and also she loves me. We talked for a bit her feelings are she still wants to be with me and yet she still wants to be friends. We are seniors in high school we were really serious about getting married and stuff. She says she also doesn't want the stress of a relationship in college but yet she still wants to be with me. I know it sounds complicated. But what should I do? Give her space for a week? And what is going through her mind? We are so confused about what to do but we want each other to be happy because we love and care so much about each other.

elliot2000 · Apr 22, 2012, 02:53 PM

This is a confusing time for many people your age. High school ending, college on the horizon, etc. I don't know that I would play any mind games at this point because it might backfire. Instead, make the most out of your time together and be happy she is still in your life. Let things play out for a few weeks and see if anything changes.

At some point you'll have to decide for yourself if "friends" is something you can handle. Be straight with her if it isn't. It sucks, but you will have to walk away if she is stuck on being friends. From there it is anybody's guess if she will come back again.

Good Luck - Elliot

WillHarrison26 · Apr 22, 2012, 03:43 PM

I just don't understand why she still wants to do stuff with me but does and doesn't want to be with me.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 22, 2012, 03:51 PM

Perhaps she wants to be free to date or see others, esp knowing college is starting. For people your age often it one or the other feels it is too early to become as serious as you are talking about.

WillHarrison26 · Apr 22, 2012, 03:54 PM

But see doesn't want to see other people. I even asked. She wants to see me or no one. She does feel it is early though

talaniman · Apr 22, 2012, 06:09 PM

But see doesn't want to see other people. I even asked. She wants to see me or no one. She does feel it is early though

Of course she doesn't, she has you. She has the best of both worlds, a caring partner, who gives her the privileges, and benefits of a relationship, but no responsibility for being in one. That's what being demoted to the friend zone is about.

She has let go the notions of romance, and being together forever, and you have NOT. You are full of false hope, misery, and confusion, she is NOT. You are in shock, and don't know what to do, yet she is not, she knows exactly what to do, weans herself off you, and is ready to explore and experiment if the opportunity presents itself. You are not. You hang on to the past and cannot let go.

Do what you have to do for yourself, she did, and it works for her, so find a way this works for you, whether she likes it, or NOT! I suggest you let go, and leave her alone since you cannot enjoy her while it lasts, and let go when she is gone. If you don't, or can't, your holding on makes you an emotional tampon for her, a comfort zone to share her future hurts, pain, and frustrations, and get through loneliness and boredom, if need be.

Benefits her, but not you, so let go now, and start your healing, so you can make good decisions for yourself based on facts, and not just feelings, hurt confused feelings at that.

WillHarrison26 · Apr 22, 2012, 06:52 PM

I know I should. She said when she made love to me the other days she said it all felt normal again but when away from her she doesn't feel the same..