[lmm96]

I dated my ex John for a year and a half. We broke up because we moved in together way too soon into our relationship and it eventually wore down on us being around each other 24/7. We had a lot of petty arguments. My friends also started filling my head with ideas such as the fact that I'm a 21 year old in college and I need to go out and party and meet new guys instead of being tied down. I was stupid and took their advice.

So I broke up with my ex and pretty soon after started having a fling with a new guy, Mike. I saw Mike out at a party when I was still with my ex John. I never formally met Mike but he knew John and I were dating so a few days after the party he sent me a Facebook message. I left my FB logged on one day and John saw where Mike and I had been messaging. It was all innocent messages but John asked me if I would please stop talking to Mike, and I did. Well when John and I broke up I saw Mike again and that's when we started having a fling for about 2 months.

I ended stuff with Mike last week because I couldn't stop thinking about John. I just started talking to John again and we hung out last night. I know I want him back, I'm really in love with him and we had a great relationship except for moving in too quickly. I asked John when we first started talking again if he had a new girlfriend and he said no, that he had a fling with a girl for a few weeks but it was nothing. I also told him I had a fling with a guy for a while too but I didn't tell him it was Mike. We were both OK with the fact that we had seen other people.

So after that long explanation, my question is: do you think John will be furious to find out it was Mike who I had a fling with? It's not like they are good friends or anything. But I know John did feel betrayed back when we were dating that I had been Facebook messaging with Mike. Do you think I should tell him it was Mike or just leave it alone? Will he eventually get over it or will it put a strain on the relationship forever?

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR INPUT.

[talaniman]

He will be really PO"ed if he finds out from any one but you, and will be mad if you tell him. So be honest, or be guilty. Tell him and be honest.