Check out some similar questions!

hschodowski1 · Apr 13, 2012, 12:59 PM

I am almost 26 and I am looking for my biological father. I have the name and city and state. I have recently found some family of his on Facebook. I reached out and am waiting for a reply. A little history would probably help I guess. My father is not on my birth certificate. My mother always lied to us kids as a child. And has only recently told me the name and location. I had a step father but was never adopted. He died 2 years ago. I want so badly to know if this man is my father. And if I do get in touch with him and he wouldn't be willing to do a DNA, how could I obtain or force him to do so? Also I have heard through other family members that this person is going to die soon. And if he does can I get his DNA afterwards? So does an adult child have any rights to find out the truth of the biological father?

smoothy · Apr 13, 2012, 01:06 PM

First thing to remember your rights do not supercede his... and depending on where he lives.. you likely can't force him to do anything much less provide DNA.

Your best hopes are he doesn't object to this...

Synnen · Apr 13, 2012, 02:01 PM

Nope. No rights whatsoever.

HIS rights to privacy supersede YOUR rights to knowledge. If he's not named on your birth certificate and never acknowledged you--you aren't legally related.

In other words--you can TRY contacting him and ASK him for his DNA, but you can't FORCE him to do anything.

hschodowski1 · Apr 13, 2012, 03:28 PM

Thank you for your answers. So there is no way around this what so ever? It's okay for a person to mess around with whomever and have kids and it's the kids that have to suffer. And the law protects them? How is that even remotely fair to a child who had no say in the matter? Do they have any kind of special circimstances like the child didn't know who the father was until after the age of 21.

ScottGem · Apr 13, 2012, 03:34 PM

Don't blame the father, blame your mother. She had the ability to require that he pay child support. She had the ability to invite him to be a father to you, to be, at least, a part of your life. Yes, your father chose not participate, but judging from what you told us about your mother, its possible she is at fault.

So its not the law that's the problem here it's the people. No its not fair to you, but it was your mother that wasn't fair, not the law.

ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area. But I know of nowhere that would allow you to invade the privacy of this man.

hschodowski1 · Apr 13, 2012, 03:38 PM

I think it was the both of them who participated so it's both their fault. Yes I do blame her. Always have. But I was told he was married at the time also. My brother is supposed to be by him also. And he is 14 months older than I. The supposed father lives in Michigan and I reside in Tennessee. I blame both equally. Just wish there was a law that would help assist adult children so they can make their own choices.

ScottGem · Apr 13, 2012, 03:41 PM

Frankly, I have to give the greater blame to your mother. She had an affair with a married man and she didn't hold him to his responsibilities. Yes he abandoned you so there is fault in him as well.

But there are millions of children in situations similar to yours. There is very little the law can do.