[mrsmcnett23]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 yr & 8 months and we live together. I caught him masturbating ( almost caught him mid way) to porn. This is not the first time either. First let me say that we have a great relationship and a fantastic sex life but it just makes me really upset to the point where I start crying and we fight the whole time. He tells me he loves me and he thinks I'm beautiful but it doesn't help that he watches porn. It makes me feel ugly or something's wrong with me or our relationship. He tells me its neither and that I'm just over reacting. When we do have sex sometimes I can't enjoy it cause I always thinks he's thinking of the porn have just watched or the girls he was looking at. I know my boyfriend loves me more then I will ever know but the whole porn thing just throws everything off. So my question is how can I get over him watching porn? Thanks for reading.

[Wondergirl]

It has nothing to do with you. Stop making him feel guilty. Take up a hobby knitting or rug hooking or something.

[Kahani Punjab]

Mrs. McNett (@23),

Welcome to this beautiful site, first!

Nothing to worry about. What Wondergirl has suggested is correct. You can ask him as to what excites him and you can become/change yourself in a way he likes, like keeping/trimming long hair or does he want to see you in short haircut? Which type of dress does he want you to wear or nothing at all? Ask him and his answers will guide you to change accordingly and his porn-watch and masturbation can reduce and will change into 'sex' and 'relish' with you. But, still if he does otherwise, nothing to worry. It is normal.

[talaniman]

I take it you nether masturbate, or watch porn yourself for entertainment. See it this way, you feel insecure because you have probably never experienced either of these things, so you take it personally.

Try them, and understand why its done, by men and women. Its just a personal preference. Just asking though, how long has this been going on, and why now after almost two years is it such an issue? Can't believe you just found out, and more than likely before you lived together it was never discussed, right?

[deefairie]

I have actually been going through the same thing for 6 years now... I haven't actually caught him in the act but it bothers me that he won't stop watching porn. I mean I catch him, he promises he won't do it again, days later there it is again. And its not like I snoop, the evidence just lays.I too have watched porn And I don't see a problem with it if your single. But if your in a relationship I believe we should watch it together.. I am a very attractive girl who looks better than those pornstars and has nothing to hate on any of them. He is currently working in Orlando and we only see each other on the weekend. When I initiate sex he tells me later.. What!! Are you kidding me. Of course because he's probably masterbated everyday of the week to porn. I think it becomes a problem when he continues to lie about it and is unable to stop... Even when he knows how much its hurting me and our relationship... Other than that our relationship is perfect... That's all we've ever argued about... Now we're engaged and I am thinking this through... Is this something I can live with all of my life? Is it fair to me? I can't understand why he wouldn't want to watch it with me,lie numerous times about not watching it anymore if it's hurting me sooo much. I really wouldn't want to end up in divorce in the long run because of this.

[iamalady]

Are you serious. Changing what she wants to wear to get her bfs approval!! Get a life

[Caspi]

You shouldn't equate the masturbation and your sex life. They are two different things. The fact that he enjoys masturbating is NOT an indicator that he doesn't enjoy sex with you. I don't want to offend you, but I do think that you should try it yourself as a way to better understand this distinction.