[cheey98]

Me and this guy hage been talking for a while, and we really like each other and we think its illegal but we are not really sure

[Fr_Chuck]

It will be illegal to the point that a 19 year old will not go long before they want sex.

[ballengerb1]

There is no law about age for dating. However, if sex were to be involved each state and country has laws about stauatory rape. Where do you live? Most of us will say this is not a good idea and what is the gender of the 13 year old?

[ScottGem]

As noted there are no laws about just dating. But it would probably be illegal for him to have sex with you.

Also are your parents aware of your relationship? If they do not give permission then it would be illegal for for the relationship.

And there are huge concerns with such a relationship. A 19/20 yr old would have very little if anything in common with a 13/14 yr old. Such a relationship is highly questionable.

[cheey98]

We live in North Carolina. And the 13 year old is a girl, which is me. And yes, the 19 year old is a guy. He knows that it would be illegal if we had sex and he knows I'm not like that. He won't make me do anything I don't want to. And I don't want sex.

[Fr_Chuck]

Thus the reason you should not date him, esp if you believe a 19 year old boy is not interested in sex. That is most likely his every third though. He will do it a little at a time and in a few months have you groomed to agree to it, Thus the reason you are too young to date him.

[ScottGem]

We live in North Carolina. and the 13 year old is a girl, which is me. And yes, the 19 year old is a guy. He knows that it would be illegal if we had sex and he knows I'm not like that. He wont make me do anything I don't want to. And i don't want sex.

And what about your parents? Do they know?

[cheey98]

Actually. We have a lot in common, I don't find the age to be a problem but everyone else does.

[ballengerb1]

So when you are 14 he'll be 20, 15 he'll be 21?? When do you think his sex drive will kick in? I am afraid this sounds like a very bad plan and I wonder why any 19 year old would not have built relationships with the hundreds of girls near his own age during school years.

[ScottGem]

actually. we have a lot in common, i dont find the age to be a problem but everyone else does.

Yeah right! I'm sure he wants you to believe that. And you still haven't told us if your parents even know about this, let alone approve it.

[cheey98]

And what about your parents? Do they know?

Well I only live with my dad. And he knows we hang out at church and we text a lot and that's pretty much it

[Fr_Chuck]

Tell him the dating idea and I am sure that will be the end of that.

[cheey98]

Don't sit here and tell me I don't know my best friend, because I obviously know him better then you do. You must have took it the wrong way when I said that he knows I'm not into sex and all that. I know he is into sex, but I know he has enough respect for what a girl wants, and he don't like me because of sex. We have a lot in common, don't say we don't because your not me or him. I know its your opinion but this is mine. I live with my dad, and he knows my best friend is a 19 year old. He knows that we hangout and he knows we text a lot. He don't have a problem with it either.

[cheey98]

And all I wanted to know was if it is illegal.
I ain't stupid but I know you people trippin if you really think I'm dumb enough to actually have sex with a 19 year old.

[ScottGem]

You're right we don't know him and maybe he is the exception to the rule. But the odds are against it. And sorry, but you don't have a lot in common. There is no way a 19 yr old who should be concerned about college or a career would have much in common with a 13 yr old who is just starting adolescence. Sure you may like similar things. Maybe you both are into Twilight, Hunger Games or whatever. Maybe you both like video games and similar foods, etc. But you are at very different development periods of your life and you cannot have much in common besides some similar likes and dislikes.

And it is very wrong for a 19 yr old to have any sort of romantic relationship with a 13 yr old. And shame on your father for allowing it.

But let me suggest this. You claim you hang out at church with him. So the two of you talk to the pastor or priest, let him advise you of what you should do.

[Cat1864]

We live in North Carolina. And the 13 year old is a girl, which is me. And yes, the 19 year old is a guy. He knows that it would be illegal if we had sex and he knows I'm not like that. He won't make me do anything I don't want to. And I don't want sex.

Cheey, you may not want 'sex' today, but that doesn't mean you both might get 'carried away' and things change. You want a legal answer to your question, but it is more complicated than just saying 'sex is illegal'. In North Carolina you don't have to have intercourse to cross a legal boundary line. Our laws cover touching to arouse. Even your relationship to him before you start having any type of 'sexual contact' is covered under the law. We won't even get into him showing you 'adult oriented material' that is legal for him to view but isn't for you.

This is just part of the North Carolina General Statutes dealing with sex, sexual contact and minors.

§ 14‑27.1. Definitions.

As used in this Article, unless the context requires otherwise:

(5) "Sexual contact" means (I) touching the sexual organ, anus, breast, groin, or buttocks of any person, (ii) a person touching another person with their own sexual organ, anus, breast, groin, or buttocks, or (iii) a person ejaculating, emitting, or placing semen, urine, or feces upon any part of another person.

(6) "Touching" as used in subdivision (5) of this section, means physical contact with another person, whether accomplished directly, through the clothing of the person committing the offense, or through the clothing of the victim. (1979, c. 682, s. 1; 2002‑159, s. 2(a); 2003‑252, s. 1; 2006‑247, s. 12(a).)

§ 14‑27.7. Intercourse and sexual offenses with certain victims; consent no defense.

(a) If a defendant who has assumed the position of a parent in the home of a minor victim engages in vaginal intercourse or a sexual act with a victim who is a minor residing in the home, or if a person having custody of a victim of any age or a person who is an agent or employee of any person, or institution, whether such institution is private, charitable, or governmental, having custody of a victim of any age engages in vaginal intercourse or a sexual act with such victim, the defendant is guilty of a Class E felony. Consent is not a defense to a charge under this section.

(b) If a defendant, who is a teacher, school administrator, student teacher, school safety officer, or coach, at any age, or who is other school personnel, and who is at least four years older than the victim engages in vaginal intercourse or a sexual act with a victim who is a student, at any time during or after the time the defendant and victim were present together in the same school, but before the victim ceases to be a student, the defendant is guilty of a Class G felony, except when the defendant is lawfully married to the student. The term "same school" means a school at which the student is enrolled and the defendant is employed, assigned, or volunteers. A defendant who is school personnel, other than a teacher, school administrator, student teacher, school safety officer, or coach, and is less than four years older than the victim and engages in vaginal intercourse or a sexual act with a victim who is a student, is guilty of a Class A1 misdemeanor. This subsection shall apply unless the conduct is covered under some other provision of law providing for greater punishment. Consent is not a defense to a charge under this section. For purposes of this subsection, the terms "school", "school personnel", and "student" shall have the same meaning as in G.S. 14‑202.4(d). For purposes of this subsection, the term "school safety officer" shall include a school resource officer or any other person who is regularly present in a school for the purpose of promoting and maintaining safe and orderly schools. (1979, c. 682, s. 1; 1979, 2nd Sess. c. 1316, s. 9; 1981, c. 63; c. 179, s. 14; 1993, c. 539, s. 1132; 1994, Ex. Sess. c. 24, s. 14(c); 1999‑300, s. 2; 2003‑98, s. 1.)

§ 14‑202.1. Taking indecent liberties with children.

(a) A person is guilty of taking indecent liberties with children if, being 16 years of age or more and at least five years older than the child in question, he either:

(1) Willfully takes or attempts to take any immoral, improper, or indecent liberties with any child of either sex under the age of 16 years for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire; or

(2) Willfully commits or attempts to commit any lewd or lascivious act upon or with the body or any part or member of the body of any child of either sex under the age of 16 years.

You also have to be very careful of what you say to each other over the computer. Contacting you by e-mail, Facebook, or in any way over a computer asking you to meet up with him with the intent to 'make out' could get him arrested.

§ 14‑202.3. Solicitation of child by computer to commit an unlawful sex act.

(a) Offense. – A person is guilty of solicitation of a child by a computer if the person is 16 years of age or older and the person knowingly, with the intent to commit an unlawful sex act, entices, advises, coerces, orders, or commands, by means of a computer, a child who is less than 16 years of age and at least 3 years younger than the defendant, to meet with the defendant or any other person for the purpose of committing an unlawful sex act.

(b) Jurisdiction. – The offense is committed in the State for purposes of determining jurisdiction, if the transmission that constitutes the offense either originates in the State or is received in the State.

(c) Punishment. – A violation of this section is a Class I felony.