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    angryme48's Avatar
    angryme48 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 11, 2012, 10:55 PM
    How do I keep the spark in my marriage of 21 years?
    How do I keep our sex life alive after 21 years of marriage?
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #2

    Apr 12, 2012, 07:18 AM
    Um... have sex?

    The answer to this is individual to each couple almost. Try different stuff. Try to avoid the same old. You know what I mean, twist nipple, 3 min bj, penetration, spooge, spoon, and done. Switch things up.

    This is also a good example of a problem fixed with Google. Google "spicing up sex life" or some variation of that. Give you ideas. Just stay out of the ruts and you should be good.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Apr 12, 2012, 07:26 AM
    Try watching porn together.. find new stuff that you both might like to try together... they say variety is the spice of life...

    I've been married as long as you... and yes you can keep it very fresh...
    mogrann's Avatar
    mogrann Posts: 860, Reputation: 193
    Dogs Expert
     
    #4

    Apr 12, 2012, 07:47 AM
    Communicate, do things together, ask your spouse what they think your marriage needs, love each other.
    Sex is not just about the act! Make sure if you decide to try new things that you both are comfortable with it, as if one is not into it , it can do more harm than good.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Apr 12, 2012, 08:33 AM
    Keeping your sex life alive usually takes keeping your marriage and general relationship healthy. Understand that sex is only one aspect of your relationship and everything else can and will affect it.

    Be aware of changes in health and medical conditions. As you age and your body transitions from one phase of life into another, your hormones will fluctuate and with them your libido. He may also go through physical changes. If you pay attention, you can adjust to the changes before they cause issues in your relationship. Sometimes it may be diet and exercise. At some point medications may be needed.

    If either of you are already on any medications, look at the side-effects. How they affected you when you were younger may change over time. Regularly going over your medications with your doctor or pharmacist may head off any minor issues before they become major.

    Look at how much time you spend together. There should be a balance between doing things together and apart. Spending all of your free time together can cause a relationship to stagnate. Work, children, and stress do not help. 'Me' time with hobbies and friends can bring new energy into the relationship.

    Communicate with your husband. Talk about likes, dislikes, fantasies. They can change over time. Sharing fantasies does not mean they have to become reality. However, talking about them can put you both on the same page at the same time. Plus, there could be something's you might have dismissed trying years ago that you both might be more open to today.

    Erotica in all of its varied forms can give you ideas. But so can mainstream movies and books. Build fantasies together based on locations, situations, basic characters. If you both agree, role play or plan an intimate vacation.

    Communicate and have fun.
    angryme48's Avatar
    angryme48 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Apr 12, 2012, 11:54 AM
    Thanks everyone for your responses,yes they will help we do watch porn but sometimes its like watching a comedy.. lol things r looking up
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Apr 12, 2012, 11:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by angryme48 View Post
    thanx everyone for your responses,yes they will help we do watch porn but sometimes its like watching a comedy..lol things r looking up
    You WILL see a lot of stupid stuff and poor acting... (the vintage stuff from the 60's or 70's can be truly comical) but if you watch a variety you might find stuff you both might like ( and a lot more you don't)... but you have to view a good variety.
    angryme48's Avatar
    angryme48 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Apr 12, 2012, 12:16 PM
    My marriage is very important too me,and I know that I will do whatever I need to do to keep it alive

    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    you will see a lot of stupid stuff and poor acting...(the vintage stuff from the 60's or 70's can be truely comical) but if you watch a variety you might find stuff you both might like ( and a lot more you don't)....but you have to wiew a good variety.
    Lol... We have been through sooo much that this is a walk in the park!! We love each other very much :) we raised 5 kids and have 7 gran babies,:) :) and my husband has delt with my menopause probably better than most

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