[jaybob124]

Was living with my girlfriend of 3 years. She really loved me and we were great together. I've been feeling depressed for at least the last six months and I was a really crappy boyfriend. Sitting on the computer all day, negative attitude, never wanted to do anything with her, etc. Although I was often grumpy, I was always nice to her and treated her well. I was just no fun to be around.
Three weeks ago, she said she wanted to go on "vacation" at her mom's for a bit when she finishes her internship (one week left), she said she wanted to have alone time.

One week later, when it was time for her "vacation", it changed to taking a break from the relationship. I played it cool and said I was sorry for my behavior and pushing her to the point of needing a break. We had a previously booked cooking class together 3 days later and that went great. We had a great time and kissed at the end of the night.

I didn't contact her for a week and all her stuff was still at the apartment. I call her to see how she was doing and what's going on with the break. She said it was definitive.

Two weeks has passed and all her stuff is still at the apartment. So I called her and asked if there was a reason or she just hadn't gotten around to it. She said she hadn't gotten around to it. I can also tell from her tone that she was OK with her decision.

With the way she ended it, from vacation to break to break up, I never had a chance to fight for the relationship. I'm thinking of contacting her and apologizing for my behavior but also saying that I can change and be the guy she fell in love with again.

Should I just move on? Has her view of me been tainted beyond repair? Or should I make a final declaration of love and try to save the relationship?

Thanks in advance for the advice.

[talaniman]

Fighting for a relationship without solving the problems that destroyed it is a waste of time. I think you ask here about her belongings, and if she is unwilling to try this again, then make sure she gets her stuff. I highly doubt if she will trust you to change.

It appears she was wanting out for a long time.

[w4rr1or]

You should never text your ex and tell her you are going to change. Trust me , I ve tried it as well as many others and it never has any positive results. Best advice I can give you is put your words into actions and somehow let her see the person she fell in love with.

[angle101]

I think that the 'brake of relationship thing' maybe she just felt like braking up and I personally think you should talk to her about it (you might get your chance back if your lucky) but it doesn't happen normaly but I think its not your nor hers fault I think it was meant to be because ones in a while all relationships need brakes.
Andrea

[Jake2008]

It sounds like she has not quite let go, otherwise she would have taken her belongings out.

That being said, any good relationship that lasts, sticks through good times, and bad times. That you felt depressed for six months, shouldn't mean the end of anything; it should mean working together to get back to a healthy place.

What did you do to try to help yourself during that depressed time. Did you seek help of any kind? Did she try to get you to a Doctor? Did the two of you do a lot of talking to find out what was going on with you?

Did the cause have anything to do with job loss? Why do you think that you slid into that place. And more importantly, how do you know that whatever issues put you there in the first place, are now resolved? What makes you think you can be the person you were, and why is that person different because they had a period of depression.

Life isn't about abandoning someone you love, when there is a rough patch.

For someone who was apparently in love, from what you said so far, shouldn't have resulted in the end of the relationship.

Is there more to this?

[jaybob124]

To answer jake2008's questions, we did some talking but I didn't do much about it. As for the cause, I guess its because I got out of my line of work and went back to school. Im 28 and probably have 5 more years till I'm done. If the school thing doesn't work out ill be totally lost as to what to do in life.
I used to be energetic and do a lot of sports and even if I didn't feel like doing something I could force myself to do it. I've lost that drive and seem to have gotten addicted to the internet. I can spend hours on my computer doing absolutely nothing.
Im not even sure I can snap out of my rut but if she gives me a chance I'll definitely put more effort than I was.
She is the type of person with the instinct to run when there's a problem. She broke up with me after 6 months but came back a week later. This time is different though, she seems comfortable with her decision.

Thanks for the replies guys, will update when I decide what to do