I can understand your feelings, but don't agree with putting children in positions of adults. Your moms husband may not be YOUR dad in your eyes, but the kids are his grand children by marriage, let them be, and when they get older they do as they please. Also get from between your daughter, and mom, and let them define their own relationship.
There is a big difference between stealing, AND sharing. Don't be resentful because of the past, but allow others to share. You gain, and lose nothing. Maybe its time to improve on the relationship with your mom, as there seems to be a lot of resentment, and unresolved issues.
Never spread bad feelings or make distinctions to kids they may not understand. He may never replace your dad, but he can fill the roll of grand dad can't he? Is he a decent guy? Come on now, when we draw such bright lines to separate us from others, we all suffer, and can never share, or build in the love of family. Then everyone loses something and gain nothing but hard feelings.
Not to be harsh, but your dad is not here, and when your kids are older you can share that loss with them, and tell them of him, but not fair for them to be taught your own resentments. Let them love, and be loved for now, That's what's important. Teach them love, not hate. Let them learn that from grand ma.
Resolve your own issues within yourself so you can share love too. I mean how long are you going to carry old baggage around with you? Maybe its time to set aside those heavy burdens, because they will drag you down.
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