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Aikirie · Apr 9, 2012, 09:00 PM

We broke up almost a month ago. He told me that he still loved me and wanted to be friends and still do the things we used to do, we just weren't compatible. He had asked me to move in the month before and helped me buy a new laptop. He told my friend it was mutual but he was the one to break up with me. We kind of argued the next day (I asked him if he cheated on me and if he thought about it, they weren't unfounded, and I dropped it when he got defensive) and I ended up cutting contact even though it was probably mutual. He contacted me four days later to apologize and that I had every right to be mad at him. It started good but then he irritated me which was obvious by my short replies but then I cracked a joke and it ended 'okay.' I broke contact two weeks later (Last Monday), three weeks after the breakup, and basically reintroduced myself and asked how he was. It caught him off guard because he asked what brought that on. It took him an hour a half to respond, my reply took 3hrs, he replied after ten minutes, and the rest were a half hour apart. He was at work at the time. He didn't reply to my last message, but our conversation wasn't anything serious and ended on a good note (I think). On Thursday I called him when I knew he'd be free. It went to voice mail, expected as much, and I left a voice mail for him to call me back when he got the chance. I didn't expect anything out of it and I finally let go of him. THEN he messaged me at midnight to apologize for not returning my call. I seriously didn't know what to do. On Friday I sent him 'Hey, don't worry about it. I wouldn't have been able to talk long if you did' because my mind kept drawing blanks and I could have worded that better. I haven't heard from him since.

I am at the point where I CAN move on, not seeing/hearing from him has done wonders, and I've done a lot of self improvement but at the same time I do not want to. I still love my ex and I can't help but think our problems are fixable. I don't think he knew what he wanted and our communication skills were the biggest issue. Does it sound like I may still stand a chance? And what should I do at this point? Should I try contacting him one more time, maybe next week or month, even though I no longer feel the urge or should I just leave it up to him?

talaniman · Apr 10, 2012, 04:24 AM

Go back to No Contact, as we all know it takes a lot of time to really move on from that first experience. A proper healing is the priority after a break up, not holding on to old dreams and feelings of what was.

joypulv · Apr 10, 2012, 04:34 AM

When he asked you to move in, did you? I wonder if there's a clue there when he said you just weren't compatible. After the first romance is gone more practical matters become important, and they often reveal themselves when living together.
It's very common to still love, like, and care about someone you just can't live with. It can be how you spend money, what you like to do in the evening, foods you like or not, hours you sleep, how neat or messy you are, or what you see your own future to be. Or any number of other things.

talaniman · Apr 10, 2012, 06:00 AM

Sometimes they lose interest after they get what they want.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 10, 2012, 06:19 AM

Time to move on, go to real no contact and stop contacting him.

Aikirie · Apr 10, 2012, 08:16 AM

I was going to move in with him in May =/ We had been spending more time together prior to the breakup then we did before, however.

And you are right, real no contact is probably the best route at this point. I don't know. I was afraid that he thought that I hated him and I don't want to just slip away.