[saifulbappa]

I'm a muslim boy and my girl friend is a hindu girl. A few menbers of my family came to know about our relation and about her caste, but they have no any problems. Even once I also told all about myself, but then also she was agree with my proposal after heard that all. And even she also want to transfer into muslim. But at least the problem is her parents doesn't know about myself. They think that I am a hindu guy. A few members of her family also came to know about our relationship, but not about my caste. Though my girlfriend is agree to run with me and get married. But for her fear, she can't tell about my caste near them. And after a few days, they will come to meet with my parents. So, in this situation what should I have to do?

[Kahani Punjab]

Saif-ul-Bappa,

Muslim is not a caste, you know it well, if you are one. Is not it? Lets call it religion. So, the issue is not of inter-caste complication, but the inter-religion one. Still, I am surprised to know that you are visiting her (house) quite often, but did not they ever ask your name? And, 'saif' apparently is a Muslim name. There is no way hiding your identity or religion, if you want to marry her, from her parents. But, first ask your girlfriend to assess their views, in case she marries a Muslim. She is the best candidate to judge their views. It might be that they are liberal, and would not have any problem, letting 'you' marry her. Still, if they say 'no' bluntly, we can work on it, but before that lets not think negatively and just try to know it from her. I would like to know if you are an Indian? Does she trims/cuts hair like most of Hindu girls, and do your parents have no objection to her cutting, eyebrows etc?

Good luck!

[talaniman]

You should have been straight and honest from the beginning, and known there may be a problem. I highly suggest you be as honest as possiblee, despite the conflicts you may have to deal with. Better to deal with the conflicts than lie about the truth.

Hopefully they recognize the reasons behind the lies, and forgive.

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me see you or her or both of you have lied to her parents, Instead of being honest from the beginning so expect to be angry.

Next why is she going to have to change her religion, Unless she believes it, she should have been allowed to keep her own faith.

[talaniman]

Thanks Charles, I forgot the whole conversion aspect of this. They may be pretty shocked at that one. And ready to resist to the max.

[joypulv]

You and she need to tell her parents before her parents meet your parents!
If she is too afraid, then you tell them - NOW.
Hiding the truth just makes everything worse.