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kinshu123 · Apr 4, 2012, 10:21 AM

We had been best friends for around 8-9 months before we started dating. After that, I and my ex boyfriends best friend were in a happy relationship for a year until he got this news that he may have to leave the state due to professional reasons for an indefinite period. He said that we should go on a break until he gets sure news and stay best friends in the meanwhile. I said OK and we were on a 3 month break during which neither he nor I dated anyone else.

Then finally he got the news that he won’t need to leave town after all. But now instead of going into a relationship again, he says that now he has fallen out of the "romantic love" for me and says all that all he has now is a "friendship kind of love”. He says he wants to remain my best friend for all his life, gets upset if we don't talk even for two or three days in a row and we meet at least twice a week and have a lot of fun. He says that the breakup was all his fault and that he can never stop having the most utmost respect for me and that, if he falls in love with me again, he would let me know.

Now I love him madly, and being just best friends is too difficult. I want my relationship back because I’ve never been with a better guy. Is there hope for us? Is there any way I can make him fall for me again? He isn’t dating nor interested in any other person as such I'm sure as we're too close for him to lie about such things. I’m a 19 year old girl, and he’s 22.

Please help

Homegirl 50 · Apr 4, 2012, 11:33 AM

You can make someone fall in love with you and it could be that for him it was not real love to begin with. The time apart proved that.
If being friends with him is painful, stop. Break all contact with him and move on.

anongirl123 · Apr 5, 2012, 05:35 AM

Well you went out for 4 years, and you only broke up 3 days ago. Of course he still wants to be friends, but he probably just needs time. It's hard to go straight from being in a full committed relationship, to just being friends.
Just give him some time, and I'm sure things will be fine :)

Homegirl 50 · Apr 5, 2012, 01:08 PM

They were only dating for months, not years.

talaniman · Apr 5, 2012, 09:51 PM

I smell a rat and think he has moved this from relationship to dating. He gets benefits, but no commitment, and you can't move on. You talk and define this thing, or stop doing it. This isn't fair.

kinshu123 · Apr 8, 2012, 09:30 PM

Yes that's true.. because his professional circumstances are still dicey, he dicey, he said that he doesn't want to be in a relationship as of nw until he gets some clarity...

But my question is kind of still unanswered... is there hope of us getting back together again..

Homegirl 50 · Apr 8, 2012, 11:14 PM

He may want to hook up with you again but I doubt he'll want a relationship. And why would you go back to him?

talaniman · Apr 9, 2012, 05:37 AM

I see very casual occasional hook ups (?), but I don't see a great relationship happening.

lemarkstaurt · Apr 10, 2012, 05:20 AM

How about trying to make him jealous by getting date. If you see any discomfort from him, its obvious that though he has feelings for you, he isn't sure.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 10, 2012, 05:34 AM

Playing games with people can have repercussions and it's childish. If you have to go through all of that to get his attention, what's the use? If he wanted a relationship with you he would be more forth coming.

kinshu123 · Apr 17, 2012, 12:25 PM

Hmm your right.. well lets hope evrything works out eventually :)

none12345 · Apr 17, 2012, 03:40 PM

You can't make anyone fall in love with you if they don't want to. It's something that comes naturally.

Is there hope for you two? Of course there is. There is hope for almost anything that is in the realms of reality but that doesn't mean you should wait around or put all your eggs in one basket.