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    TiburonB's Avatar
    TiburonB Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 7, 2012, 09:52 AM
    A guy asked me on a date... and he's shorter than me.
    I met this guy 8 days ago, and we have been hanging out on the weekends. He asks me to do something again whenever we separate, and he definitely seems romantically interested (we are both in college, he's 4 years older). He's got a similar personality to mine, but I wish he was a little more confident. When we have been hanging out on our own its been good, but when we go out in public I always feel self conscious because I never pictured dating a guy like him at all and it feels awkward. I'm 5'6.5" and he's got to be at least a couple inches shorter than me, and he's so damn skinny that I feel like a whale. I don't mean to sound shallow. I honestly pictured myself with a guy who I would be challenged physically by at least. I love sports, and unfortunately he doesn't do anything of the sort.
    He seems to be indecisive about some things, which makes me feel like I have to be the decision maker, and it makes me uncomfortable even though I don't show it. He asked me out on a date, and I said yes, but I really can't picture a future with him. He's nice and acts like a gentleman, but he's small enough to not look college age at all, and I keep picturing myself dating a young teen and it's a complete turn off. All this in about a week, and I don't know what I should do now. It kind of skipped friend phase, maybe I've been a little too enthusiastic about showing him around (he's new). I'm on the fence here. Any advice?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
    		  
    #2

    Apr 7, 2012, 09:58 AM
    Move on. It sounds like any date you have or time you spend with him would be out of pity.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Apr 7, 2012, 10:02 AM
    Yes, time to move on. Save him the heartache. You appear to be too shallow and insecure at this time in your life. Maybe you should think about what's really important in a relationship.
    TiburonB's Avatar
    TiburonB Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 7, 2012, 10:10 AM
    Like I said, I didn't mean to sound shallow. I know for a fact I'm insecure, but I'm working on it. I've never been in a relationship to know what to look for, and everything is hit and miss right now, I just feel like I'm fumbling around in the dark.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Apr 7, 2012, 10:49 AM
    The problem is after 8 days you are looking ahead at romance, instead of just being a friend, and making sure that's all it is. You are creating a problem where honesty can eliminate the problem. Then you can enjoy the friendship as you should, and so can he.

    Don't get ahead of yourself, back up and JUST be friends. Honest friends.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Apr 7, 2012, 10:57 AM
    It is not that you sound shallow, but you are, sorry but if looks, him being shorter or skinny is the reason, it would be like a guy not dating you if your bust is not 40's.

    You have not taken time to get to know him and are not judging him on personality, on how you interact and if a friendship can develop.

    But this is a issue, and you are not ready to deal with it as a adult relationship built on respect and communication yet.
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