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    emily1234098's Avatar
    emily1234098 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 3, 2012, 02:02 PM
    4 days late and scared.
    I'm 4 days late, and I have never been late. I always start the day I take my last pill. I have had sex with my boyfriend and the condom did break and he did ejaculate into the condom.

    And we have done it many times before that, and after that I have had major lower back pain, my stomach has been hurting, I have been getting headaches easily, I have been light headed, my breast are tender to the touch, I have been peeing more, and today I noticed I have to drink more to stay hydrated.

    I am 16 years of age and I'm scared. I understand that I took the risk of becoming pregnant when I decided to have sex. And I am prepared to take care of a kid if I am pregnant. What are the chances of me being pregnant? Please help!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Apr 4, 2012, 08:32 PM
    The condom broke? So yes of course you can be pregnant. Condoms have about a 10 percent failure rate, as used. So there is a good chance of course you can be pregnant.

    You are ready to care for a child, so you have health insurance to pay for the birth, you have money saved for the 1000's it will take for food, diapers and more. The father is old enough and has a great job to pay child support
    emily1234098's Avatar
    emily1234098 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 4, 2012, 08:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    The condom broke? So yes of course you can be pregnant. Condoms have about a 10 percent failure rate, as used. so there is a good chance of course you can be pregnant.

    You are ready to care for a child, so you have health insurance to pay for the birth, you have money saved for the 1000's it will take for food, diapers and more. The father is old enough and has a great job to pay child support
    Yes I do have health insurance I have over 40,000 dollars and me and my boyfriend have good paying jobs I actually have 2 jobs
    alkalineangel's Avatar
    alkalineangel Posts: 2,391, Reputation: 323
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    #4

    Apr 5, 2012, 06:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by emily1234098 View Post
    yes i do have health insurance i have over 40,000 dollars and me and my boyfriend have good paying jobs i actually have 2 jobs
    Well, that's good, you are doing better than most people who are thirty something. Are you on your parent's insurance, or your own? Because once you are a parent yourself, you will be dropped from their coverage. Be prepared to spend at least $15,000 a year of that $40,000 on child care, another $500-800/year for diapers, anywhere from 1,500-2,000 the first year for formula (if you breast feed, you may spend around $500 on breast feeding supplies), upwards of 2,500 on baby supplies (crib, clothes, pacifiers, bottles, stroller, carseat, etc.) and another $500 a year in medical expenses (for a healthy baby) not including the $4-6,000 price tag from the hospital and birth. Then of course, there is the fact that you have to work your 2 jobs on top of this new 24/7 job, so there is no sleep for you. The baby won't wait for tests/homework/etc, so finishing highschool/going to college will be rough. You aren't old enough to secure a rental anywhere, so you will be living with your parents/relatives, I suppose? So now their lives are turned upside down supporting your child. That isn't really doing it yourself and being prepared, now is it? Seeing as you are under 18, the law limits how much you can work, so I really doubt that you could pull in enough hours to even pay rent, electric, gas, water, med. Insurance, car payment/insurance, daycare, etc. even if your boyfriend decides to pitch in and help.

    I was a teen mother, and I struggled with my child and expenses, and I was 3 years your senior at the time. It is not a pleasure cruise. I am 29 now, and have JUST NOW started to settle into a life where I am able to breathe. My son is almost 9. I am not saying that you can't do it, because you can... but it will NOT be ideal. The chances of you and your boyfriend lasting are slim to none. The chances of you completing high school and continuing on to college are incredibly low. You will rarely see your friends, and may even lose most of them, as they don't know what to do with you now that you are a mother. And you will not be able to provide the best quality of life for your child. I just want you to have all the details going in.

    Research ALL of your options before making a decision. Abortion and Adoption are equally as traumatic and you need to make sure you are making the best decision for YOU. No choice in your situation is easy. Good luck.
    alkalineangel's Avatar
    alkalineangel Posts: 2,391, Reputation: 323
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    #5

    Apr 5, 2012, 06:06 AM
    Also, might I add. You should take a HPT first to see if you are even pregnant at all.
    emily1234098's Avatar
    emily1234098 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 5, 2012, 08:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by alkalineangel View Post
    Well, that's good, you are doing better than most people who are thirty something. Are you on your parent's insurance, or your own? Because once you are a parent yourself, you will be dropped from their coverage. Be prepared to spend at least $15,000 a year of that $40,000 on child care, another $500-800/year for diapers, anywhere from 1,500-2,000 the first year for formula (if you breast feed, you may spend around $500 on breast feeding supplies), upwards of 2,500 on baby supplies (crib, clothes, pacifiers, bottles, stroller, carseat, etc.) and another $500 a year in medical expenses (for a healthy baby) not including the $4-6,000 price tag from the hospital and birth. Then of course, there is the fact that you have to work your 2 jobs on top of this new 24/7 job, so there is no sleep for you. The baby won't wait for tests/homework/etc, so finishing highschool/going to college will be rough. You aren't old enough to secure a rental anywhere, so you will be living with your parents/relatives, I suppose? So now their lives are turned upside down supporting your child. That isn't really doing it yourself and being prepared, now is it? Seeing as you are under 18, the law limits how much you can work, so I really doubt that you could pull in enough hours to even pay rent, electric, gas, water, med. insurance, car payment/insurance, daycare, etc. even if your boyfriend decides to pitch in and help.

    I was a teen mother, and I struggled with my child and expenses, and I was 3 years your senior at the time. It is not a pleasure cruise. I am 29 now, and have JUST NOW started to settle into a life where I am able to breathe. My son is almost 9. I am not saying that you can't do it, because you can...but it will NOT be ideal. The chances of you and your boyfriend lasting are slim to none. The chances of you completing highschool and continuing on to college are incredibly low. You will rarely see your friends, and may even lose most of them, as they don't know what to do with you now that you are a mother. And you will not be able to provide the best quality of life for your child. I just want you to have all the details going in.

    Research ALL of your options before making a decision. Abortion and Adoption are equally as traumatic and you need to make sure you are making the best decision for YOU. No choice in your situation is easy. Good luck.
    Well I do live on my own and pay bills I do not live with my parents because I am not allowed to be around them. Me and my boyfriend do not have trouble paying bills and I always have money left over to put in the bank. I have my own health insurance as well. I do get a little bit of money from my relitives every month but its only 100 dollars and it always goes in the bank. And my best friend has a bunch of baby stuff she is going to give me that will help out a lot. She even talked to the daycare she goes to to see how much it would be and I would have money to afford it. I also know where to go to get formula and diapers for fairly cheep. And you talked about me losing friends my only friend is the one that has been through this and is willing to help me with everything.
    alkalineangel's Avatar
    alkalineangel Posts: 2,391, Reputation: 323
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    #7

    Apr 5, 2012, 09:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by emily1234098 View Post
    well i do live on my own and pay bills i do not live with my parents becouse i am not alowed to be around them. me and my boyfriend do not have trouble paying bills and i always have money left over to put in the bank. i have my own health insurence as well. I do get a little bit of money from my relitives every month but its only 100 dollars and it always goes in the bank. And my best friend has a bunch of baby stuff she is going to give me that will help out alot. She even talked to the daycare she goes to to see how much it would be and i would have money to afford it. I also know where to go to get formula and diapers for fairly cheep. and you talked about me loosing friends my only friend is the one that has been through this and is willing to help me with everything.
    Ok. Then why are you on here asking about it and saying you are scared? You seem to already have the answers. I wish you luck.
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    emily1234098 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Apr 5, 2012, 09:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by alkalineangel View Post
    Ok. Then why are you on here asking about it and saying you are scared? You seem to already have the answers. I wish you luck.
    I mean I am scared because I feel like even though I can take care of myself I won't be able to give my baby every thing it wants and needs. But I did go to the doctor and got a blood test done and it came out that I am pregnant and I am going to keep the baby and I'm going to try my hardest to give him or her what it needs I'm just scared that when I do tell everyone there going to be mad at me or hate me especially my parents
    alkalineangel's Avatar
    alkalineangel Posts: 2,391, Reputation: 323
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    #9

    Apr 5, 2012, 09:59 AM
    Well I can tell you that more people will be upset (not necessarily angry) with you than happy for you at first. Especially if you are already at odds with your parents. Listen to what people older than you have to say, though. Don't automatically get defensive (like above) you are only 16, and you may think you have it all figured out, but you don't, and you will need their support. Good luck.
    emily1234098's Avatar
    emily1234098 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Apr 6, 2012, 06:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by alkalineangel View Post
    Well I can tell you that more people will be upset (not necessarily angry) with you than happy for you at first. Especially if you are already at odds with your parents. Listen to what people older than you have to say, though. Don't automatically get defensive (like above) you are only 16, and you may think you have it all figured out, but you don't, and you will need their support. Good luck.
    Today I went to the doctor and they told me that I am having a baby and that I am 8 1/2 weeks <3
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #11

    Apr 6, 2012, 07:14 PM
    Well glad you have insurance, not on medicaid or welfare where my taxes are going to have to pay for your choices.

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