[Phoebegan]

Hi, I'm Phoebe, my boyfriend and me was just together about 1 month. The 3rd day I bring him home and my parent started scolded me and asked me break with him. My parent said he is ugly and dark so they prevent me to see him.
As I know I am in a confusing, should I continue to stay with him or listen to my parent?
I admit he is dark and ugly but he giving me the feelings that no one given before. He is caring about me, he also can win my friend's boyfriend, then my friends are envy to me. I felt like if I loss him, I will not find someone like him anymore. My boyfriend is not letting me go even for 1 second, while I was crying to break up with him. He also said one day, your tears will be valuable. Now I'm pretty suffering,totally no direction.

[Stellaw]

How old are you? Your parents know what's good for you but if they will see how much you really care for that boy and how much you really want to be with him, then I guess there's a chance that they'll change their minds. Try talking to them and communicate how you truly feel. Maybe, they're just preventing you from seeing him because you're too young to date. Ugly is subjective. What may be ugly to you and your parents might be beautiful to others.

[Phoebegan]

I'm 21 now. They will not preventing me to date is because I'm not young to have a boyfriend.
Your last sentence are really what they thought.
In their mind they are always right, communicating with them is useless.
My boyfriend is not the one I like，I mean appearance. But he is someone I need. Overall I really love him.
Does ugly guy can't be with a good look girl?
We both really loved each other.

[talaniman]

If it will not cause you,or him, bodily harm, then you are old enough to make your own choices

[Catherine23]

Well,if he's good person,he cares of you,he's without bad habits which could prevent you to live good life and have good future it doesn't really matter how he looks.If it's just about opinions of his appearance from any people,even your parents... just take it easy,the most important temper and how you together go.

[Phoebegan]

Catherine23 : It mean he could not give me a good life and future?

[Catherine23]

I can't answer if he could or not.I just said that if he's good man/person it really doesn't matter if he's ugly and you don't care of it.First your parents should think about your future.If he doesn't make your life miserable they shouldn't prevent you date him.This is my view...
It's your choice.

[Stellaw]

Oh, so you're 21 so I guess you could try telling your parents how much
The boy means to you. Physical appearance is important at first and it
May be more important to others. If a beautiful girl wants beautiful kids,
Then she likely has to choose someone as good-looking as her. It's like genetics.

Some people are like that and I, myself, want to be with someone who's good-looking
Or just have a proportionate face and body because I don't want my children to look
Ugly or have physical defects. Maybe your parents want to have Brad Pitt look-a-likes
For grandchildren. If you really love the guy then you should also consider to
Polish him up like style him a little bit or just clear up and brighten his skin
A little bit. Appearance is really not that important when it comes to love.
Good hygiene, free of diseases, and good and proper choice in clothes and shoes
Are considerably attractive already. As long as he's treating you right, then
Don't listen to everybody who'll tell you not to see him.

[Phoebegan]

Thanks for you all guy, appreciate much! Stellaw your thought was exactly same with my parent.
Basically I don't know which to come first. Weather good appearance or attitude.. I can't handle bad behavior people and not respecting people like my father. I can't stand him anymore, that why choose to be with a good guy. I'm sad badly now, Is over,I already breakup with him. I wish to meet someone like him but with a good look.

[Cat1864]

Phoebe, is there any cultural or traditional reasons for obeying your parents on this matter?

Is his appearance their only concern or do they have others?

How long have you been dating him? How long have you known him?

You say that you introduced him to them after three days of dating. Have they met him again after that one instance? Are they concerned that you might be moving into this relationship too quickly? Did they see something in his behavior that you might be overlooking?

I know how you say he treats you now. Looks are not my concern. My concern is whether you really know him or if he is on his best behavior to woo you. If you choose to stay in the relationship with him, be careful and learn more about who he is. There is a difference between caring and controlling. Sometimes it takes a few months before you can tell which one a person is showing.

[Phoebegan]

There are few peoples is chasing me include my boyfriend at the same time. He was the best one. Together with him I can tell him everything, anythings, felt very secure once anything happen to me he was the first one to reach me. Since we can't meet each other but he call me for most of the time. For me this is not enough, I'll stay longer to see the real of him.

My parent just seen him once without talk much, just a simple questions then they just walk off immediately.

I know him about 1year, we have date already 1 month and a week.
His look is not that ugly but his skin is as dark as indian. My parent only concern about this.

My parent said he will not letting me go as after I gone no one will accept him anymore. This kind of ugly people just like a rubbish I'm only one to collect them. So painful while I heard this.

Below is the picture that I could show you guys, is this acceptable?

[talaniman]

Sorry Phoebegan, but due to privacy issues, and to protect you both, I deleted your pictures and links. I will say your boyfriend is far from ugly, but it seems your parents have a skin color thing that keeps them from seeing his character.

It's their loss.

[Phoebegan]

My parents is still unaccepted my boyfriend skin colour, we are force to break up. I agreed to break up due to protecting my mother. My dad going to beat her and scold her everyday. I hate my dad so much.
He damage my happiness and future life.
I afraid to find someone like my dad, I got phobia on being scolding. Only my boyfriend wouldn't to that to me.
I felt I wanted to against my parent until we get back together. In my mind, I don't want to give up for even one second.
I'm still loving him and he loving me too. Both of us are suffering, in pain and sadness.
Should I against or let go?

[sparks123]

First of all, if your dad is that cruel, and beats your mom, I hope she realizes that she do have the choice to leave him. No one should go through that.
Secondly, your parents don't really have a say in who you should be with. If they are going to be racist against someone who you have feelings for, then they obviously aren't good parents. They need to respect your feelings and understand that you want to be with this guy. Don't let your parents control you. Mine have always tried to make me break up with the guy I thought I loved, and I didn't let them tell me what to do. Even though mine and my parents relationship is damaged and I'm no longer with the guy who was suppose to be my true love, I still think it was a good idea to stand on my own and not let my parents boss me around. I became more independent and happier, and I would never regret not listening to my parents. I hope the choice you make is the right one.

[talaniman]

I hesitate to tell you to go against your parents, but I will tell you to make yourself independent, and self sufficient, and not to flaunt this guy to them, or enrage them, and put your mom in jeopardy of your fathers wrath.

You have to keep peace while under their roof.

[lemarkstaurt]

I think that you must live your own life than have someone else judge you on just looks. If the guy is not caring that could be taken as a reason, but being dark and ugly doesn't sound nice of your parents. They seem very judgemental