[Catherine23]

Hi, everybody! I do need help...

The story began 2 years ago when I met American guy. We saw each other just several times; when he had his breaks (we live in different countries). Everything was fine. A few months later, the time when he came to see me again he told me that he wanted to marry me, and some few months later he came again, and proposed me. I was quite sure that I'd marry him, but I'm not anymore. We argued, because I talked to him that I wasn't sure of this marriage which we planned, he was sad and so on, so he broke off engagement.

I was disappointed, but then I started to date with French guy, who works in my country, so we've been in relationship for 4 months now. We're closer than I was with my ex, we've fun, spend time together and so on, but the problem is I don't think he'd marry me in future... I mean he wants family and so on, but the thought that he just dating me because doesn't want to be alone here can't live me... My ex still loves me, wants to marry me, to have children with me... but I'm not as close with him as with my new boyfriend. Each time I start to discuss our possible future with my new boyfriend he says it's too soon to talk about it , etc. but he wants to be with me... I'm really confused who should I choose between them. The guy who wants to build family with me or the guy who maybe in one day would propose me?

The family is very important to me, I want to have good husband and children, but would be the marriage good without strong feelings?
I know all people have different opinions and views on life, also I know it'll be me who has to choose anyway, I can't lie to one or other and date both of them. But I've been thinking of it for really long time and don't know what to do.

[talaniman]

I agree with your French fellow, its way to soon to even consider marriage, and since you are broken up with the American guy, what he wants is entirely irrelevant.

Amazing how you decided not to be pushed by one while you push the other. I think you forget marriage completely, and date the new guy to give this a fair chance without influence of the other guy.

There is NO HURRY to marry any one. Who knows a third option for marriage may appear, or a fourth.. who knows?

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, you need to know who you are and what you want, if you have not even made you mind up and what you want.

[myownopinion]

You obviously do not love your ex enough so he's out of the question. Unless you want the married life with kids and a loveless relationship which I'm sure you don't. Let your ex go completely and if you want keep seeing the new guy but if he's not at all hinting a possible "future" with you in ANY way after 6 months then move on sweetie lifes too short! Keep looking for your perfect man he is out there don't settle for less or sell yourself short