[dragonflys]

So me and my boyfriend have been together 6 months and been living with each other 3 months. Everything was going good, then he lost his job, so then we started being with each other 24/7 and It felt like he was backing away and I see that, I asked him a few times If he wanted to be with me he said yes, I didnt’t know what was going on with the new way he was acting. He wasn't’t talking to me so I didnt’t know. Well we broke up last Sunday, and he told me he didnt’t want a relationship, and left it at that... So I left him at his brothers and I went to my friends.

We were in love he told everyone he loved me and we made future plans and everything, it didnt’t make sense. Well within this whole week I’ve found out he told a couple of his friends that I was clingy, and I was weird because I liked hugging him, (he’s not an affectionate person) his brother called and said he thinks he wants me back but wants to get a job so he can support me, he don’t want to feel like he’s using you, because someone over there told him he was, and he don’t want you to feel like he Is. I know who told my bf/ex and no one else knew, only us. So I know he did talk to his brother. But I still don’t get it, why break up with me so you can take care of me?

Even though he said he didnt’t want to be in a relationship, I had the woman's Intuition that, that wasn’t the real reason, there was something else going on, then his brother told me that, then the feeling went away, so I’m thinking maybe he’s right. I love him and I don’t want to lose him. This is the second longest relationship I’ve been in, and the second person I’ve ever loved. And I wasn’t trying to be clingy, and I understand people need there space, and there "me time" but as of right now he don’t have a car, so for me to take him to his friend’s house, go home wait for him to call, to go pick him up then come back home, It doesn’t make sense and It’s a lot of gas. I would do It In a heartbeat if he’s friends lived closer, but they don’t the closest one lives about 30 miles away

But as of right now he moved back In with his dad, and I was thinking about going over there to see if we could talk face to face. To see if I work on not being clingy, if we could work it out. Also to see if he meant what he’s brother said. It’s been a week and we haven’t talked and all of his things are still at my place. He did have his brother call four days after we had broken up, to see if they could come get it, but I wasn’t home and he said something about he might get It In a week. Please help.

[Homegirl 50]

You relationship was very new and seem to progress real fast. I can understand or at least I would hope he is not the type to want to live off you but I also think if he wanted you, he would talk to you himself. He does not seem to have even made an effort.
I suggest you move on with your life.

[DaniCalifornia]

You moved in very quickly, seemingly without being able to enjoy the initial dating and getting to know each other period. And yes, this can come across as clingy, but he doesn't seem to realise he's half to blame.

Don't think that because it's your second longest, it's a reason to stay together. You may end up struggling for a few more years, and it'll be much more difficult to move on.

x Dani

[talaniman]

Not only did things move fast, but you never had a chance to build the level of trust and cooperation to get through the trauma of losing a job, losing self confidence, and esteem. You just didn't know each other well enough.

He was becoming dependent on you, and that caused conflicts, as he can't just do as he pleases any more, and doing for him became a hassle for you. Understandable, but now you both step back and see what happens as you go back to putting your lives back together without each other.

Don't force things, just see what happens when the emotional dust settles, and you get a proper perspective returns. Let him lick his wounds, and leave him alone until its clear whether he gets his stuff soon. A week is fair.