[bmt91]

Ok so me and my husband have been married for almost eight months and I love his kids. They call me mom and we spend a lot of time together. Their real mom has not seen them in almost three years and has no desire to see them. They hardley even remember her at all. She is a drug user and is in and out of jail all the time. I want to adopt them and be their mother, to make it official and protect them. How would I adopt them when we don't know where she is? Do I need her permission or can I do it without it since she has no rights?

[Fr_Chuck]

First of course she has "rights" She may not have been to court to get any rights court ordered but yes you will need her permission to adopt. It is harder to do it without, attempts to find her will have to be made. This will require an attorney.

[kcomissiong]

She does have rights because she is their mother, and if she wanted to enforce them today, she could petition a court and do so. You are going to have a great deal of difficulty completing an adoption without her. You and your husband will want to meet with a lawyer, who can prepare your petition, make sure you have met all the requirements for a step-parent adoption in your area (some require that you be married for a year), and try to locate her. If she cannot be located or she will not give her consent, you WILL need an attorney. There are provisions (depending on your location) that will allow an adoption without the consent of the parent, but you are looking at a long and expensive legal battle.