[LoserLikeMe]

My mum is always saying that one day she will run away or kill herself because my sister and dad are annoying her. I don't war I'm doing to make her feel this way but whenever I ask her she doesn't give me a straight answer. She is always slagging me off and always says I embarrass her and that she is ashamed of me and again when I ask about it she won't tell me why.

[Wondergirl]

I'm sorry to hear your mom is so troubled. Do this: Look at her kindly and with a smile and tell her how much you love [a certain food] that she makes or tell her how much fun you had when you and she did [a certain activity]. Remind her of the happy things in her and your past.

[LoserLikeMe]

That is actually a really good idea. Thanks

[Wondergirl]

Remind her of your baby and toddler times or ask her to tell you stories about those days. Drag out old photos of you and she and other family members. Talk about what was happening, the places you lived, even the weather. Talk about your favorite toy or holidays and how you celebrated them--putting up the Christmas tree or Christmas shopping or hunting for Easter eggs or whatever. Together remember funny things that had happened, like when the cat knocked over the Christmas tree or your little brother threw up on his plate during a big family dinner.

[LoserLikeMe]

I'll try. And again thanks

[Wondergirl]

Psssst. Here's a secret just between you and me. I suspect your mom is unhappy with herself for some reason and is taking it out on you. It's also depression, but she's not turning the anger on herself, but turns it outward, toward other people. It not you she doesn't love, but herself she doesn't love.

See how this new strategy works and report back to me (us). Meanwhile, I'll think of other things to do to help, and more people will probably chime in with good ideas. Hang in there!

[LoserLikeMe]

I hadn't thought of that. I can't think of anything that would make her feel this way though

[Wondergirl]

It might go back years, long before you were born. It might be something from her childhood or her teenage. It might be something one of her parents said or did or something that happened at school. Maybe she was bullied and still has anger about that left over. We don't know.