[rmnirol]

So I've been with my boyfriend for almost a month; we got together after knowing each other for about the same amount of time. The first two days we were "together", he kissed me, was always holding me and showing affection. After that, almost no affection- IN PRIVATE. This is where it gets weird.

In public, when we're hanging out with his friends, he hugs me. He plays with my hand. He pats me in the butt. We laugh and joke around and act stupid- literally the reasons we connected come out and we have a good time. In private, at least now, we don't even make out. It's like we've been in a relationship with each other for years and are hitting a lull.

We've had sex. ONCE. We've only just gotten together; correct me if I'm wrong, but stress, fatigue, and distractions aside, we should be jumping each other's bones right now. Like tonight: I go over, and he's on the couch watching TV. So I go over and give him a kiss, and he starts showing signs that he wants to knock out. And yesterday: we hang out, after not seeing each other for a week, and nothing. We sit there and watch a movie, or we go to take a walk to kill time before we hang out with his best friend. Nothing.

It's starting to hurt my feelings. I'm normally not a very quick to attach type of person, or needy, or any of that. I've never been this insecure about anyone, even when I was in high school. I've told him "I really think I bore you", and he came back with the "I'm just always tired" thing. He did NOTHING today. He just stayed at home and watched TV.

I've been wanting to talk to him about it, but how do I talk to him without coming off as a weird needy chick? And before him, I had a really stupid relationship with a guy who would "off and on" me and treat me like crap while he was with me, so little things like this keep me up at night. It's driving me nuts. I don't think he's cheating- at first I did, but not anymore. So what should I do? And in case I'm overreacting, how do I approach talking to him about it?

Any feedback would help- especially from men.

[Wondergirl]

If I were you, I'd move on and let him enjoy his own company IN PRIVATE and in public. Why would you settle for him? There are lots of fish in the sea. No explanation needed--just say goodbye. Don't apologize or cry. LEAVE. NOW. Don't look back. You deserve better than that.

[talaniman]

To much, to fast, crash and burn. You have had the sex part, but other parts of the relationship need more work. That's how minds are connected, and love is built. Forget the physical, two strangers having sex is still two strangers, and the only way to not be strangers is by communicating.

I think if you communicate about everything else but sex, you will see what the real issues in this very new relationship are. And solve them together, or apart.

Explore his mind, and see what he is about, his hopes, and dreams, and fears, is your best approach, Talk about everything but sex.

[CurRi0us1]

I agree with talaniman, the best way to start a relationship is by talking and getting to know him, before the huge physical stuff. You guys skipped that part so this might just be the chance to get to know him and see if it's a real relationship. If he is showing signs of not wanting to even talk, or not even holding hands just say something like , " okay, whats wrong? you haven't kissed me at all (or list what annoys you) " start with that, it might sound needy but its hard not to. If none of this works, you might just want to break up with the guy, 'cause this relationship might not be as meaningful to him as it is to you.
Hope this helped! :)