[andy.nina]

I never thought I'd find myself here but I need some help and admittedly am also just venting. I'm 17, I was with my girl for 4 yrs and even though it's been rocky we've been madly in love with each other. I wasn't always the best boyfriend but we've had our good and bad times together. Sadly, we didn't hang out very often or go on many dates because I was always pretty ashamed to go talk to her parents, and she is very close with them. We made our promises to no matter what stick it out to the end with each other and that we'd never give up. I intend to fulfill those promises with her, however, she has literally given up on me and it hasn't been more than a couple months before she is talking to someone else.

I can move on without her, but I don't want to. She is everything to me, as far as relationships go. I've never even considered dating another girl since the day I asked her out in 8th grade. Like I said, I haven't always been a picture perfect boyfriend but I have always been pationate about our relationship. I can tell she has been trying to get over me for a while since I broke up with her on Christmas morning (I know that's bad :(). But I broke up with her because she had lied about being at the mall with another guy a few days earlier. I did it to prove a point though, not to permanently let go of her. We still talked a lot afterward but it was kind of rough. Apparently she wouldn't take me back unless I went to talk to her parents face to face, but I refused to because I basically felt blackmailed and convicted when I was the one who was trying to get a point across, and she never understood that. We had a "date" soon after though and she said it was amazing, but we haven't gotten back together or seen each other since. She says that if it was meant to be it will be, and I agree with that but I'd rather not leave it to chance. I want her to know that I was serious about our promises to each other.

Her birthday is tomorrow and I want to get her flowers but I'm afraid I might push her away even further by being a little over-obsessive. I'm not sure what to do. We used to be crazy about each other but I'm afraid she has completely lost interest in me and I may be holding on to a broken string. I dream of having a relationship with her where we can say we've been together since middle-school and still love each other. I can write forever about everything she means to me but I'd rather not bore people to death.

I love this girl with all my heart but I really want her to be happy. What do I do? Any questions, just ask.

[KissleeSnow]

Listen its hard to get over your first love. Actually sometimes you think your first love is when you are a kid in high school but than later on a great love hits you that you never expected that out loved the first. Than you start to realize people come and go. Love comes and goes,and that's okay. That is just how life works for better or for worse. You can't predict what might happen in your love life. You just have to let it take it's natural course. I know that you care for her, and want to be with her. Your making it apparent, but sometimes people need time. If your not giving that to her, your just going to drive her to another guy, and another life without you entirely. I know because I am a woman, and have been there with men. A few actually so I know how you feel, and what your thinking if you could just talk to her and explain it again and again that she might finally get it and understand. But honestly it won't help. Your just making it worse. You can show you care for her in different ways thought. Like being her friend, not a jealous ex boyfriend, but an actually friend. Someone who can say "Hey I'm here for you if you need me" If not I'm still here. You have to take a step back, Just be "Kool" Like my friends use to tell me about my high school love when he left me. Be a friend, Be there if she needs you, Act respectful, don't be to obsessive, and just try not to worry. If she is out there living her life for the past couple months why can't you? Try it, you might surprise yourself if you change the way your looking at this breakup. I wish you the best of luck, and like I said just take it easy... Be Kool...

[talaniman]

You must look at your own actions and see its your inability to compromise, and see her side of things has made this an impossible relationship to maintain. You are obsessed, controlling, and to rigid of thinking to make this female happy.

I think its time you focused on improving yourself through expanding your awareness and understanding of yourself and others, and given the youth of when this started, and your youth now, you can expect this love, and attachment to be a long healing process to go through, and overcome!

Now you can fight it, deny it, ignore it, and you will only stop your own growth, and understanding, of others, and your world, and be miserable in dealing with YOURSELF, and YOUR OWN FEELINGS!

Selfish isn't the way to go. Leave her alone if you cannot see that! She has as much of a right to do things her way, as you do. So recognize that! I mean who goes along with "your way or the highway"? Or who puts up with your games and lessons? She won't. And she obviously has had enough. Can you blame her? Honestly?

If she would ask me what to do about you and this relationship, I would have to advise her to leave you alone, and move on as this love has turned unhealthy for her.

[andy.nina]

I don't blame her. :/ We've both had our fair share of mistakes, but I see where you're coming from. I'm open to pretty much all thoughts at this point. And I have left her alone, up until recently at least, come to find out she's already talking to someone else. To me it feels like she's subconsciously using him to fill a spot that I once filled, even if she thinks she really likes him, it's just been so soon.

And her birthday is tomorrow. What to do. :/

Thanks for the thoughts by the way.

Also, KissleeSnow, we think very much alike. I've already figured most of what you said, she knows I'm here for her no matter what. However, if "friends" was an option I suppose we'd have went that route by now, although it's not completely ruled out for the future.

Again, thanks a lot for the comments, it has really helped to get my head on straight.