[pppp1234]

Okay, so my ex boyfriend broke up with me last October. (The break-up happened after a series of several bad fights). He said he still loved me, but that we needed time apart for awhile. One month later, he started a long-distance relationship with a girl in another state. I had originally thought that it was just a rebound thing... but they are still together, and she is planning on moving up here in a few months to be with him.

Here's the catch, since the break-up, my ex still constantly wants to talk and hang out with me. I see him at least once a week... and he texts me almost every day. Sometimes he will text me just to "see how I'm doing." He says he still loves me, and it's obvious that he still wants to spend time with me. And sometimes when we drink he gets VERY touchy-feelly and sentimental. Nothing has happened between us since the break up, because he's been dating this other girl. But we've definitely come close.
Just last week, his roommate started telling me about how my ex constantly talks about me.. and how it's so obvious that he still loves me. Which really made me start questioning everything...

I want to let go and move on, but at the same time, I still really do love him. And it really seems like he still has feelings for me too... but if that's the case, why is he still with this other girl? I don't know what to think, and I'm so confused by our whole situation.

Am I crazy? Should I just cut contact and move on? Or does it sound like there may be hope for us in the future?

[kryst]

I think he is used to be with you rather than really loving you. Because if he really loved you he would have stayed with you. If the other girl is moving to get closer to him then most likely the guy would go with her rather than with you? I think that he just wants to have company for the meantime while his girlfriend still hasn't moved in. I've known guys that did that. I don't know if your guy is that kind of person though.

I hope you have moved on before the other girl moves in because it would really hurt to see them together there at your place if you still have feelings for him. This happened to me anyway. A reverse though because I'm a guy and it was my ex who went with another guy but also wants my company if her boyfriend is not around. But I refused her and have moved on.

I know that it will be hard because you are used to having your ex around and you still love him. Think of yourself and what would happen if you stayed in touch with him while his girlfriend is there.

[talaniman]

If he is waiting for a girl to move and be with him, why are you wasting your time being his fill in until he gets the real thing? Friend zone is a lousy place to be if you have feelings. Drinking buddies is even worse.

Cut all contact with him, and get a better way of passing the time once a week.

[KissleeSnow]

All I can say is he probably does still love you, and obviously there is a connection still there between you two. I think he is testing you out, to see how serious you really are about him. If you hold on in his eyes even if he has this other girl, than you really do love him. Guys work in mysterious ways, way different than the way woman work, its hard to figure out what they are thinking and feeling. I think that he is insecure with himself, because of you. He doesn't know if you are for real or not, and testing the waters out is making himself reassure that you are sticking around, and hey you must really love him. Or he is stringing you along because he is still a boy and doesn't know what he wants... either way its hard to say. My first guess is more my own experience and that's exactly how it worked out. But my second guess happened as well, so its hard to say. Good luck and maybe see how much he is really serious about this other girl moving? Check it out? It might just be his way of seeing what your going to do or say about it.. sorry if I wasn't more helpful.. but hang in there!

[grammadidi]

He's in a long distance relationship with someone else and he's lonely. You are familiar and you have feelings for him. Of course he would turn to you while his present girlfriend is so far away.

Now, that being said, some guys are a little confused about how to love someone. It IS possible, I guess, that he does. If you really do love him and want him back despite the fact he has no problem being in a relationship with someone else while being in love with you then this is what you must do. If his roommates says this guy does nothing but talk about you tell his roommate that if this guy really loves you then he wouldn't be with anyone else, only you, so you have to believe he doesn't really love you and move on. If this guy tells you he still loves you... tell him that while you still have feelings of love for him that you don't want a man who can be with two women. You want a man who can commit to a an exclusive relationship with you only. THEN... do what you must to move on! Stop seeing this guy in any form. You can't move on if you are seeing him. He will never commit to you if you accept that he will see someone else while he loves you.

Truth is, if a man really loves a woman he doesn't 'test them out' or have a relationship with another woman. At best he just doesn't know if he loves you. So, the best thing to do is help him to see how life really will be without you. That being said, there ARE some men who do want more than one woman in their lives. If that's acceptable to you then by all means, continue to talk, hang out, text, drink and get touchy-feely and sentimental. However, if you want a man who loves YOU and only you... be true to yourself. There is more than one guy out there in this big, wide world for you. Don't waste your time with one who doesn't seem to feel the same way you do. If it turns out that he does care for you as much as you care for him he'll be back... without another woman in his life.

Hugs, Didi

Note that you said: "I want to let go and move on..."