[xoxocjc]

I am 17 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. Last July we broke up and I had no intentions of getting back together with him, so I hooked up with a guy once and realized I really only want to be back with my boyfriend. But, I told him about the other guy and he won't let it go and to get "revenge" he started talking to other girls and I don't know if he cheated on me. But, I really love him and what I did was not cheating because we weren't together. And he keeps lying to me about the other girls but I saw it on my computer because I let him borrow it and he never deleted all the pictures and conversations with the other girls. I'm afraid he's still talking to them or cheating on me. And every time I ask him he gets mad at me. What should I do ?

[Wondergirl]

Why are you still with him?

[xoxocjc]

Because I love him and I want this relationship to work out because we do have a lot of fun together and I believe this relationship could go a long way. I just want us to be loyal to one another and I know I will be, but sometimes I'm afraid he might not be and I don't want to lose him.

[Wondergirl]

First of all, you did not cheat when you two were broken up. It sounds like you are the only one invested in this relationship. He lies and cheats and gets mad when accused and treats you like dirt. Fun guy!

Why are you so willing to be treated so badly?

[xoxocjc]

It's not that I want to be treated badly I just believe that this relationship will lead to something good as long as he is committed. Like I just want him to only want me because I know he loves me because he did so much to get me back when we broke up. I just want to be able to trust him again

[Wondergirl]

He's not committed, and you can't trust him. He doesn't want only you and has proven that.

This relationship is NOT leading to something good.

[xoxocjc]

:/ thanks for your help

[Wondergirl]

You still think there is a way, don't you. You do realize you will never be able to trust him again. And you can't. You'll forever be checking his cell phone, etc. That's not love.

I'm still wondering why you are so willing to accept his abusive behavior toward you.

[xoxocjc]

It's hard to give up on someone you love

[Wondergirl]

It doesn't sound like he's helping you try to keep him. Take your power back, and stop being a doormat for him.

Others will chime in and give opinions. If we all vote no to this relationship, will you find a stiffer spine, take back your power, and get back into the world to find a decent guy who will love you unconditionally?

[Wondergirl]

Does he love you?

[xoxocjc]

Yes he does love me and we spend almost everyday together and recently we haven't fought at all and we have been having so much fun. I just worry a lot and I do want to be able to stick up for myself better, but I don't want to give up on him if he is committed to me now.

[Wondergirl]

How does love equal "revenge" and cheating?

By love you mean he kisses you?

[xoxocjc]

No it does not mean just kissing. Just because I am young does not mean I don't know what love is. I see you are a lot older than me and you probably think you know more because you have more experience but I am in love and you don't know me, so don't make judgments based off my age because that is not the problem because regardless of my age this situation happens to many people and cheating does not have to break up a relationship as long as it doesn't happen again. My question was what should I do for me to trust my boyfriend more?. not should I leave him.. that wasn't my question.

[Wondergirl]

I'm not making judgment based on your age. I'm making judgments based on what you posted here. I'd say the same thing to a woman who's 85 years old.

I notice you are giving good, solid advice to people who are posting questions similar to yours. Had I posted what you did, what would you tell me?

[xoxocjc]

Honestly I would tell you to talk to him about it if it still hurts you and if he cheated again or tried to talk to another girl I would leave him. But in my situation he hasn't talked to another girl since that one time when I caught him on my computer and since then I haven't seen anything. I just worry a lot because I am afraid of betrayal. We are in love and I just want it to be a worry-free committed relationship and I want to learn how to trust him again

[Wondergirl]

Honestly, I don't think you would tell me that.

Knowing human nature, it will be a long time before you trust him again.

Promise me this: You will never check his cellphone or computer history ever again. That's one way to trust him. You will never ask him to give you any of his passwords.

[xoxocjc]

Of course I can promise that. I haven't done that in months nor do I ever want to check again because I know that isn't fair to him.

[Wondergirl]

Then you're good to go. Problem solved. Right? And of course, you will never ask him about other girls or where he's been and who he has been with. You will show him you trust him totally.

[xoxocjc]

Yup.