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lilbit81 · Mar 15, 2012, 11:47 PM

Ok I've known this guy for 10 years out of that we are together for 6 years. We were best friends, close, tight what not. Then last year we moved to my moms house in June. That's when problem started. Him and my mom would not get along, so he would disappear for couple of days. He says he at his home boys house. So I believed him.

I've notice he would snap at me at times. Then my sister calls me, and tell me that there is another girl in the apartment complex that claims to be pregnant by him. I confronted him about it. He denied it at first then he confessed.

Long story short I'm in love with him and so hurt at the same time. I don't want to lose him. At the same time I don't want to be hurt. Oh and this girl knew about us, and don't care, and still wants to be with him. SHOULD I WALK AWAY, OR STAY? I mean we moved out my moms house. We are living together but my mind is messed up. How can I get over this, if I want to work it out, without driving him away.

talaniman · Mar 16, 2012, 12:12 AM

Go back home to mom, and give this a lot more thought, because he will have this baby mama in his life for a long time. He cheated, and has complicated this relationship, and his other one on the side, and it will be a long time before this mess is resolved.

This will get very messy, probably is already.

lilbit81 · Mar 16, 2012, 10:15 AM

Thank for your response however we do also have 2 kids together. So moving it is what best for my kids and me. I know the babymama will be there for life but he also said the reason why he cheated is because he was lonely and we were not afffectionate, nor I was not having sex with him. We have not had sex for at least 5 months. He realized he lost a good women and want to build my trust back He chose to be with me. So I decided to work it out. Are there relationship out there that do work out in this situation? Now I also explain to him that I forgive you but the will be baggage with it like going through his phone checking his messeges and every time he leave I think he's going over there. Out of 10 years of our relationship he say this is the first time he step out. But his baby mama don't get the picture He always been with me but she calls claims is about the baby but I know how she feels about him it not just the baby she calling about. I just want her to stay in her place.

talaniman · Mar 17, 2012, 05:44 AM

Unfortunately, I doubt you can ever define what her place is. That's his business to handle, and that's where the trust comes in, but it's a bit to soon just to get over the shock of this incident, and make some adjustments that work for you both.

Yes you can get beyond this situation, but not without a lot of time and efforts between you. Now I know you have laid out some rules and regulations and conditions for him, but the key thing is that she doesn't have to abide by your rules, only HIS!! I think much depends on his conduct.

So I think your goal is to focus on strengthening your relationship, whether the other baby mama gets it or not.