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GothicGirl666 · Mar 14, 2012, 07:52 AM

So I know a young couple,both are 19. I have known them for a good 4 years.
They had a child almost a year ago - a beautiful baby girl - but they treat her so wrong, I am a professional nanny so when the girlfriend called and asked for help 4 weeks after being home I was more than happy to help. I was shocked at what I found - their little girl was all bones and tiny. I brought the mother some formula as she said she doesn't make enough milk, that was all I saw of her for months and it had me shaken.

The girlfriend came to visit me when her baby was 6 months old - she was still very small. As I spoke to her more I found she really wasn't feeding her enough and offered my advice.

Their little girl is a year old now - the mother is constantly *****ing about her child being a problem so a friend and I took her for 3 days - Even in a strange house she slept perfectly and I can safely say I have NEVER seen a child go though so much food in three days. Turns out shs is only being fed 2/3 times a day at home. She was perfectly happy in our care .

The most disturbing thing is that this child has had thrush that has been left untreated for almost her whole life, and a nappy rash that bleeds and bleeds - she lives in a filthy house with a mum and dad that party constantly and do not feed her enough or even give her enough physical contact - she is so far behind. She never gets enough to eat and is surrounded by her mum and dad's drug addict friends - Should I report them? I feel bad about this - they where not always bad people.. . Am I over reacting ?

Wondergirl · Mar 14, 2012, 08:03 AM

Isn't this baby being seen by a doctor for shots and monthly checkups?

GothicGirl666 · Mar 14, 2012, 08:27 AM

I do not think so, this babies health would have been addressed.
This child's mother and father( I do feel bad saying this as they where friends once) have become very selfish - their needs are seen to long before their daughters, if hers are seen to at all.

aliseaodo · Mar 14, 2012, 08:34 AM

You mentioned that you are a professional nanny - does that make you a mandated reporter? ( I worked at a child care center for a few years, all the staff were mandated reporters, it wasn't a matter of if we 'should' report something - we were mandated to report.. )

Wondergirl · Mar 14, 2012, 08:34 AM

Yes, a social care agency needs to evaluate this situation, especially if illegal drugs are involved. As a professional nanny, you are obliged to notice something like this and report it--part of your ethics statement.

GothicGirl666 · Mar 14, 2012, 08:40 AM

aliseaodo - I was not working for them they are just people I know, I can file a report but I am worried I may be over reacting, I have never seen anything like this.

Wondergirl · Mar 14, 2012, 08:43 AM

Overreacting to a filthy house, drug use, untreated thrush, child starving for food as well as love, child far behind normal development level?

GothicGirl666 · Mar 14, 2012, 08:50 AM

They are only young and I have known them for so long, I really wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt- I tried to help them I really wanted things to get better - I would like to point out if I saw this in a house of a child I was looking after they would have been reported right way. . She's not a bad child at all, I just hoped they would see that too - I am first time parents get it wrong all the time, I really hoped they would pull it together - Now I've read everything over, your replies - I was turning a blind eye and that was so wrong of me, I can see now there is no question it is abuse and I am not over reacting by filing a report against them.

GothicGirl666 · Mar 14, 2012, 08:53 AM

I would like to point out also in the three days she was in mine and a friends care about 70 percent of the thrush cleared up and most of her nappy rash too, though I don't know its state now - I am sorry I put this off, I was trying to help. I really thought it might get better.

Wondergirl · Mar 14, 2012, 08:55 AM

Please stop thinking about the parents and instead think about this child. "Benefit of the doubt"??

GothicGirl666 · Mar 14, 2012, 08:59 AM

Wondergirl - I know - it was stupid of me, I can see that now - I shouldn't have put it off just because I have known them a long time.

Wondergirl · Mar 14, 2012, 08:59 AM

So what is your plan?

GothicGirl666 · Mar 14, 2012, 09:07 AM

Report them as soon as the office is open - its really early in the morning here.. . I can't believe I put this off - I let to many things cloud my judgement of the situation and that was wrong. They are treating her badly and they have to be reported for it - if I don't who is going to?

New mothers get things wrong but never this wrong - I should have known that.

Wondergirl · Mar 14, 2012, 09:35 AM

Please let us know that you did indeed report it.

GothicGirl666 · Mar 14, 2012, 09:40 AM

I will write up another comment as soon as I do.

Shellyv · Mar 15, 2012, 12:12 AM

I completely understand your hesitency on reporting this. You want to do what's best for the child ,but don't want to so anything in the process that could end up hurting her worse. I can't say that I have any faith in Americas cps or foster agencies. That being said you must report this. This case will not be top priority with the state but perhaps the parents can get some sort of help for their problems.. A house with drug use is no place for a child. Children deserve the very best from their parents and when a parent is on drugs they cannot possibly be at their best. If years from now you look back on this and you hadn't called someone and things are worse you would always wonder... What if? Please make the call. She can't speak for herself. But you can

GothicGirl666 · Mar 15, 2012, 04:27 AM

They have been reported.