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Askan · Mar 9, 2012, 05:48 PM

I was with my first boyfriend for two years on and off. I was so in love with him and he was everything to me. We parted ways at uni due to his assumption that we would split. I was sad and we decided to try again after several hiccups. He told me I liked him more than he liked me. He saw a photo of me with another guy and didn't like it. We gave it another go, and were OK, until we got into a blazing row. He drove off and left me and went on holiday. He knew I was upset, and he ignored me, and went really cold. He said nasty things, and it was over. I was gutted and went on a date with someone else after forcing myself. He then changed his mind again, and wanted me back. I couldn't really trust him from then on, and decided we could just see each other, which was stupid with everything that had happened, and his general behavior (putting me down, being quite unfeeling and always taking the mic out of me). We drifted.

I met someone new, and he is amazing he treats me nicely and I am so happy. Well I was until my 1st boyfriend said he had changed, how much he loved me etc. I have a weakness for him, I know we aren't right together, but I can't let go of him. He makes me jealous, and I care about him so much. I have the perfect scenario, and I'm messing it up, because I'm still sad a year later over my first boyfriend! How do I shake this feeling?

mmresd · Mar 9, 2012, 07:36 PM

You cut all ends with your ex boyfriend and work on your relationship now. You need to erase his number, erase him from everything you can think off, and change your number. Go completely no contact with your ex and keep building something that is worth your time and is not playing with your feelings.

talaniman · Mar 10, 2012, 02:17 PM

You heal and move on by stopping any, and all contact with him, so you don't have to dredge up old feelings or cheat on the new guy by going behind his back talking to the ex, and reliving the good times of the past that make you weak for him.

Askan · Mar 13, 2012, 07:40 AM

I cannot get over my ex I cut off contact with him but I cry over him so much I feel low and depressed to make things worse I know he wants me back but I don't trust him anymore all he did was hurt me. Mainly however I'm in a good relationship with a guy I could only dream off. However I got with him so soon after my ex that I didn't have time to mourn him and feel the pain. For a year I've been in a new relationship and suddenly the feelings have come back he sees me cry and I feel guilty because I'm hurting him. I know I should cut the ex out and be strong but I'm weak all I did was love him and he treated me s badly. Part of me wants the happy ending I always wanted I want to be with him like I used to. But I know I would never forgive myself for messing up a stable loving relationship with a textbook perfect guy. I know I'm being short sighted because I want the psin to stop!

How do I get over this quickly I'm going to ruin everything.. He lives near me and when I go home its all I can think about I feel like I've had to give up my friends to avoid him and feel like I've always been dependent and I've never just been OK by myself. I love my boyfriend so much but I also love my ex I'm in a mess please help me...

talaniman · Mar 13, 2012, 05:48 PM

Help yourself by staying in control of your feelings and completely out of contact with the ex. There are no quick fixes, or substitute for a proper healing. Even new loves are tainted by old ones without that healing. It hurt until it doesn't.

jnxy1 · Mar 14, 2012, 06:38 AM

The issue you didn't go through the process of mourning for you ex you rushed into a new one .You need to take some time sit and evaluate is it worth it was your ex a positive influence on you .Dont compare him with the guy your currently with it will only make you two drift apart you need to work on you first and be strong if your not comfortable being one your own without a relationship you will constantly have this issue and carry the baggage of the past to the presence and what you really need is the experience ,lesson,wisdom and knowledge from you past no relationship is a waste it a learning experience to help you grow and mature it just how you deal with your situation on hand